The Effects of Feminism on Motherhood

Dear Reader, 

I’ve chosen a dangerously hot topic to study.  I’ve taken a lot of time to think about what I’m reading, as well as some time to talk to seasoned women in the church, and I think I’ve come near the end of what I thought would be a much longer research project.  I’m not finished with The Feminine Mystique, and I’ll keep reading, but I think just a few blog entries suffice to summarize the effects of feminism.  If the body or the book reveal something else to me, I’ll be sure to let you know. 

As I said, feminism is a hard topic to talk about, even in the church.  I note that especially in regard to my own generation, as the attitude toward having a family and raising children seems to have changed.  A chapter in The Feminine Mystique is devoted to relaying the author’s incredulous attitude toward the majority of women in the 1950s who followed their hearts’ desires and became wives and mothers.  They thought that was all they wanted.  But no, Betty Friedan reveals: They were wrong!  They were unsatisfied!  Once they achieved that ultimate purpose, they were left wondering, “Is this it?” 

I talked to my grandma about this.  She came of age in the 1950s and started a family of her own.  She said she didn’t know a single wife who fit the role of that stereotype we all know.  My grandma didn’t fill those shoes, either.  She was restless like everyone else Betty Friedan interviewed for her book.  I worried that this fact would prove contrary to the point I am trying to make, but then something stood out: My grandma wasn’t yet saved. 

I notice a detachment in people who aren’t walking with the Lord.  The hairdresser I last saw thought it was great that I’m at home now, but she said I’ll want to be far from it when I have children of my own.  Another woman at the bank relayed how tired she was from “babysitting” her son the previous day.  She had to watch him all day long!  My heart went out to that family.  Indicated at other points in the conversation, these women clearly weren’t saved.  The Lord must put something in His women in order to make them real, nurturing mothers.  Otherwise, we’re all just people floating alongside each other in this world, and one’s own is no different from another’s.   

Feminism has affected motherhood by telling women that they should be more.  I’ll admit, sometimes I fall under this false judgment, too, even before taking that leap.  This rampant, evil, unjust judgment condemns the hearts of those who are doing exactly what they are called to do.  It’s so sad to see this affect the lives of children who were brought into the world by no choice of their own. 
Being a mother is hard.  I do not speak from experience, but observation (and I am working to prepare myself for that prized position which I one day wish to hold).  I pray that you mothers will not feel the unnecessary guilt with which Satan weighs women down.  If you are a mother doing everything as unto the Lord, you are fulfilling the perfect role for you.  Don’t listen to the accuser who tells you that you aren’t enough.  What an undertaking being a full-time parent is!  And what an honor you are to the Lord. 

This is not meant to exclude those of you in the church who have the gift of singleness, those who have chosen not to have children or those who are employed single mothers.  If you’re following God’s plan for your life, you are an honor to Him, as well.  I am speaking for the faithful mothers because they are attacked by Satan through feminism.  Betty Friedan, a mother, does not condemn motherhood itself.  Rather, she discourages taking on motherhood as a full-time job, as a title, as a source of fulfillment.  But that’s just not fair to the women obedient to the Word who have made the decision to wholeheartedly raise their own families.  
      
You can see, if not live out, how difficult it is to be a full-time mom in a world that says, “Well, what else are you?”  Can you see how the feminist movement brought us here?  And can you see the sneaky role Satan has played behind the scenes of the movement that intended to exalt women? 
I pray that we will all remember to look at ourselves as God looks at us, not as the world looks at us.  As believers, we are promised persecution and tribulation.  But if we make it our mission to glorify Him in all things, we will overcome and be fulfilled (as much as we can be in our fallen state) by whatever life plan the Lord has laid out for us. 

May the Lord keep you,  
adguglielmo 

“There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit”-Romans 8:1.

Whatever Things Are True

"Whatever things are true...think on these things"-Philippians 4:8.

Dear Reader, 

This week I started on the workbook for Loving God With All Your Mind by Elizabeth George.  A friend gave me the book and its corresponding study back in December.  I read a few chapters then, and it helped me realize all of the lies the enemy puts in our heads (as did The Screwtape Letters).  At the time, I needed to get over a hump, and just reading the first couple of chapters enabled me to do that.  Well, then came the final weeks before the wedding, then the honeymoon, then all of the settling...I just didn't pick it up for awhile.  I've had the intention, but I didn't make the commitment until the Lord brought the book into multiple conversations and Biblical messages last week.  

So I've been thinking about the first chapter all week.  It hones in on the verse above, and, let me tell you, exercising this command has proven unnatural.  That may appear to be a strong claim, but here's a little on just one of Satan's tactics that he has been using in my life:

He puts morbid scenarios in my head.  I've only told my husband about a few of them, but I have awful daydreams without realizing it.  I imagine a loved one dying, or an emergency situation (in a less than preparatory way).  I imagine being in a serious car crash, or an intruder marching through the door to take me captive.  I've always had a vivid imagination, and I found that writing my Barbie's stories in my head was always more fun than making her play them out.  But I've also had a lot of years of sudden emergency situations, and I think the devil has a hay day using my memory as a tool against me presently.  When I was growing up, I can't count the times that the police came out to my house.  The call would come from a family member, a neighbor or myself.  And these things would happen in the middle of the night as likely as they would in the middle of the day (it was never safe).  I would be asleep and have school or work the next morning, and explosive yelling would ring out.  One of the most dangerous times was only a couple of years ago, before my mom separated from her husband.  It seemed like something happened every day or night.  I carried my cell phone everywhere, including into the bathroom.  I tried to shower quickly so I would hear a fight start and be prepared for whatever happened next.  I slept in clothes I thought I could run in, if I had to.  

Now I sleep soundly next to my husband, knowing I'm safe.  I sleep in the arms of the Lord, confiding, "What can man do to me?" (Psalm 118:6).  

But the enemy knows what happened for all those years, and before I've been able to remember to think on whatever things are true, new wicked scenarios and untruthful images run through my head.  Sometimes they're upsetting, and other times, I am numb because of how frantic my life once was.  But I know they come from the evil one.  

This book is a perfect, necessary read for anyone who has experienced trauma.  We get swept up in our thinking before we know it's all lies.  But we're not allowed to do that.  The Lord commands us to take every thought captive and put it under the obedience of Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5).  As He instructs us in Philippians 4:8 to think on eight virtues, He instructs us not to think on what opposes those virtues.  So we disobey God when we give in to thinking about things untrue?  Yes.  Like I said, especially for people who have undergone some form of abuse, it seems unnatural to think on what is true instead of our anxieties (powered by Satan), which direct our thoughts.  But it's unnatural to do any of the things the Lord commands us to do when we're in our flesh.  That's why we need to ask the Lord to help us to take our thoughts captive.  We need to ask Him to transform us by the renewing of our minds (Romans 12:2).  I looked up the Greek for "renewing" in Vine's Expository Dictionary of Biblical Words, and came up with the word anakainosis, meaning "a renewal," which "stresses the willing response on the part of the believer."  This means it will be work.  We can't change our lifetime patterns of thought overnight.  But with the Holy Spirit working inside of us, we can think on the truth and leave Satan's lies in the dust.

Lord, I pray for forgiveness, because though I know what Your Word calls me to think on, I have forgotten and allowed my mind to run free when my thoughts ought to be captive.  Help me to take them captive, that they may be under Your authority, Jesus.  Help others who have been touched with trauma, that they may see that Your truths conquer the enemy's lies.  Direct us to Your Word when the liar starts speaking.  I pray that we will learn to always turn to You.  Amen.

I hope my anecdotes are helpful.  I don't feel sadness or anger when I relay them to you because I have forgiven those who created that past, and also because I long for the Lord to put to use that tribulation.  I want to comfort you as He comforted me (2 Corinthians 1:4), because He allowed the affliction for your benefit (verse 6).  

The Lord bless us and guide us together, 

adguglielmo          

On Peace and Patience

Dear Reader, 

I have been wanting to write since I posted my last message on Tuesday, but life always seems to get in the way. So I've had to exercise patience. Patience is a difficult fruit (Galatians 5:22, 23) to cultivate. I had a great opportunity to exercise it last week, and I chose not to. I started off thinking, When I get out of this one, I'll be able to encourage everyone with how patient I was.  I’ll be able to tell them how easy it is to turn to God when we're in a bind. Well, the latter part holds true...if we choose to turn to the Lord. Let me tell you about my day.

I clean out my rats' cage at least twice a week.  I bring the cage and the girls (Abigail and Fanny, for Tiffany) into the two-doored enclosure to the bathroom sink. I've been cleaning their cage in there for weeks, allowing the two to wander around curiously as I make their home a little less smelly. It's a small space, and after having mishaps with Abigail under the entertainment console in the living room and both of them behind the refrigerator, I figured there was no possible way for them to get into trouble in a tiny area. Well, a couple of weeks ago, Fanny discovered a small gap between the wall and the cabinet under the sink. So I laid out cornbread crumbs and quietly, patiently waited for her to come out. That ordeal lasted no more than half an hour, and since, I've been stuffing the holes on either side with hand towels. That seemed to work. 

And then Thursday happened. I started at 9:00am.  Everything was fine until just before I finished cleaning the cage. I had been watching the girls, but Fanny must have escaped my view just long enough to make her way back into the hole. So I put Abigail into her clean cage and decided on graham cracker crumbs as a lure this time. Well, it didn't work. Neither did baked apple. Or honey. Or peanut butter. I tried to use Abigail as a lure a couple of times, but Fanny would just poke her head out and then pop back up to whatever was so important up there.

This isn't just a cute story about my pets: It's about how I fell apart and didn't allow myself the peace of God that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7). All day, I went about my chores and errands and Bible study like a zombie. I could focus on an activity for a few minutes, and then I'd think of a more creative way to get Fanny out. So I'd spend another twenty minutes, thirty minutes, hour desperately trying to get my rat back in her cage. I felt sick with worry (that crevice seemed like a perfect home for a black widow), and I refused to listen to reason (and the Holy Spirit) telling me that she'd come out if I just left her alone. I tried! I'd leave the room for fifteen minutes and then poke my head in to see if that was enough. It wasn't. I wasted the whole day because I wasn't waiting on the Lord to answer my request to bring Fanny out safely. I wanted that prayer to be answered before it left my lips. 

I imagine if things had gone differently, I would've stayed out longer running my errands instead of dashing home to check on my pet. I don't think I would have been grouchy like I was when my husband came home. And I can bet I wouldn't have felt sick all day, because the peace of Christ would have been ruling in my heart (Colossians 3:15).

She did come out. It was 10:30pm, but she came out. Abigail got so excited when we reunited them, and my husband was happy to stop hearing about it from me. I can't tell you how relieved I was. Then I realized how differently things could have gone. Instead of ignoring the Spirit's attempts to quiet my worry and direct me toward God, I should have listened. How much easier those thirteen-and-a-half hours could have been! How silly I was.

I hope you find this tale amusing. I also hope you'll look to the Lord the next time your rat crawls into a hole in the wall. 

God bless,

adguglielmo