A Temple for God

"Do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own?  For you were bought at a price; therefore, glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God's"-1 Corinthians 6:19, 20.

Dear Reader,

My husband and I are competing to see who can lose eight pounds first.  So far, we've trudged through a level one "8 Minute Abs" video, and we haven't had dessert all week. 

The dedicated road to weight loss seems much easier together.  All my life, I've struggled with poor body image.  For years and years, I made my major goal losing weight.  I had academic, life and spiritual goals, too, but they never took first place.  Instead, I focused on my body.  With all of the effort and energy I expended, I should have gotten in shape and been satisfied.  However, I gained ten pounds one year, five pounds the next, and ten pounds more.  I was crushed.

I can't trace my battle with food back to a specific date, but I know some of my greatest struggles began at age 15.  First, I tried convincing myself that I didn't have to eat (what a glamorous life I could live at 80 pounds!).  I listed every crumb that I consumed, calculating fat grams and carbs.  At night, I would lie awake, budgeting calories for the next day.  Quartering portions made my head ache, from both over thinking and hunger.  By the end of the week, I would take my measurements and discover I had lost a couple of inches.  And then I would overeat.  I would try so hard not to eat  and then make up for all that I had deprived myself of during the week.  I would remeasure on Sunday and discover my bloated belly added a few inches to what I had to lose.  So on Monday, I would resume my "orderly" plan.

This sort of eating phased in and out throughout the years.  At times, it was replaced by fasting completely.  Other times, I ate more than several grown men could in a day.  Purging cycled through from the time I was 16.  Needless to say, I was out of control.

Until fairly recently, this struggle with food overshadowed everything else in life.  It consumed my mind, as drugs consume the mind of a user.  I wondered how much I could accomplish if I weren't always thinking about food and my figure.  I desperately wanted to stop abusing my body.  I reached out to the church for help.  I reached out to fellow believers online in chat rooms dedicated to encouraging healthy, godly lifestyles.  I attended a church recovery group for people once addicted to drugs and alcohol. I started seeing a Christian counselor.  I prayed constantly.  I meditated on verses like 1 Corinthians 10:31: "Whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all for the glory of God" (I thought that one was written just for me!).  But no matter what I did, I just couldn't stop. 

Here's the key: I wouldn't stop.  I had it wrong all those years.  Had I really believed 1 Corinthians 10:13 ("God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it"), I would have known that my actions could not be attributed to anyone but me.  Yes, the tempter tempted me very effectively.  Even when God's "way of escape" arrived crystal clear, I took things into my own hands and rejected His provision.  I repeatedly made the mistake of thinking that eating would make me feel better, even though I always felt worse afterward.  And the whole time, I kept wondering, Lord!  I'm praying for Your help!  Why aren't You helping me?    

I made two major discoveries.  The first, before I stopped abusing God's temple, was Colossians 3:1-3: "If then you were raised with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ is, sitting at the right hand of God.  Set your mind on the things above, not on things on the earth.  For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God."  Where had I set my mind?  Certainly not on my life with Christ in God!  In spite of all of my pleading prayers, my mind remained on the things on the earth (my body).  Though my heart greatly desired the ability to just eat like a normal person, without having to miss meals with family and friends because of a diet, and without blowing off events with those same people to sit at home overeating, I thought if I trusted the Lord to guide me to eat properly, I would never lose weight.  I couldn't get past my earthly body.

The period between abusing food and enjoying God's provision perplexes me.  Again, I can't point to a specific date and say, "I was healed this day!"  But I know the Lord used the building up of my relationship with my husband and his family to produce my new, healthy approach to eating.

An Old Testament verse explained away my confusion about why the Lord "wasn't helping me."  Isaiah 59:1,2 says: "Behold, the Lord's hand is not shortened, that it cannot save; nor His ear heavy, that it cannot hear.  But your iniquities have separated you from your God; and your sins have hidden His face from you, so that He will not hear."  Why didn't God remove my burden as soon as I prayed for help?  It's because my willful sin caused a separation between us that prevented Him from hearing my prayers.  I was disobedient and thought I knew what was best for me.  I continued to disregard the command to glorify God in my body.  How could He hear me when I continuously profaned what belonged to Him?

I praise the Lord for softening my heart and enabling me to seek the things above.  I am far more concerned with exercising myself toward godliness (1 Timothy 4:8) now that Satan's lies about food and my body have been dusted out of my head.  I mentioned the competition between my husband and I because I'm thankful to finally put weight loss in perspective.  Thinking about my physical flaws no longer fills up the day.  Instead of thinking about how to look more like Twiggy, I think about how to become more like Christ.  My husband will probably win the competition, and he will receive due reward.  But I'm just so thankful to be able to eat with a grateful heart!

Because this temptation and sin took up much of my life, I pray that God will use me to comfort those who are struggling, just as He has comforted me (2 Corinthians 1:4).  Let me know how I may be of service to you today.

God bless His children, 

adguglielmo

The Flawed Feminist Attitude

Dear Reader, 

 A few weeks ago, as I read more about some of the first textbook feminists (those who earned women the right to their wages and the right to vote), I became conflicted.  I had just proudly voted in the primaries, so I wondered how I could possibly condemn the women who fought for that right.  And where would I be, had I not been allowed to keep my wages?  How could I have afforded to move to San Jose before my husband and I became engaged?  How would I have paid for my apartment before we made the commitment to get married...and then live together?   

At the same time, I noticed a certain tone in modern people and publications.  In women, I found an air of significance and superiority.  I found an example of this in a statement about the rise in persecution of men, which was gleefully dismissed with something wicked like, "Oh, how the tables have turned."  In men, I discovered weakness and complacency regarding their roles as protectors of the family.  A Mercury News regular commended the new kick-butt girl movies hitting theaters ("The Hunger Games," "Snow White and the Huntsman," "Brave").  Then he went on to say that he would be the one wiping his wife's brow as she wielded a bow, complaining that he was tired of climbing up tall towers to save princesses.  What a backwards world we live in!

Our society no longer rears men but overflows with boys in the adult life.  It begins with the feminist attitude that says, "Anything you can do I can do better."  If that's the case, then why would a man provide for his family?  Woman can do it better, so let her!  Women can also pay for their own meals, drive their own cars and open up doors.  Really, what good are men?  

See the flawed feminist attitude? It's the key difference between those first noted "feminists" who were fighting to rightfully obtain equal treatment, and today's feminists, who are fighting to be better than everyone else.   For awhile, I wrestled with the knowledge that prior to the twentieth century, women were treated as lesser people.  For some reason, I couldn't comprehend that our society has not always been on a constant downward slope.  But I realized that there are peaks, as when our country liberated the slaves.  One of those peaks belongs to discovering the equality of men and women.  A steeper slope belongs to the idea that men and women were not created equally in the likeness of God. 

Most of my discovery has come from observing the world, talking with wise Christian women and knowing the Proverbs 31 woman had enough on her plate to make her equal, but not superior to a man (her husband was known at the gates, remember?).  I am thankful to live in place that recognizes equality, because I can't wait to vote in the presidential election this year (Your will be done, Lord).  But I'm still sad knowing the enemy's abundant perversion of truth, which encompasses today's feminism.  

I'm not sure why I began my study or what I expected to discover, but I am so grateful to the Lord for allowing me to understand.  I pray that you will understand, too, and that He will guide us to those who are lost, so that we may teach them His everlasting truth.  

What a journey...
adguglielmo   

The Effects of Feminism on Motherhood

Dear Reader, 

I’ve chosen a dangerously hot topic to study.  I’ve taken a lot of time to think about what I’m reading, as well as some time to talk to seasoned women in the church, and I think I’ve come near the end of what I thought would be a much longer research project.  I’m not finished with The Feminine Mystique, and I’ll keep reading, but I think just a few blog entries suffice to summarize the effects of feminism.  If the body or the book reveal something else to me, I’ll be sure to let you know. 

As I said, feminism is a hard topic to talk about, even in the church.  I note that especially in regard to my own generation, as the attitude toward having a family and raising children seems to have changed.  A chapter in The Feminine Mystique is devoted to relaying the author’s incredulous attitude toward the majority of women in the 1950s who followed their hearts’ desires and became wives and mothers.  They thought that was all they wanted.  But no, Betty Friedan reveals: They were wrong!  They were unsatisfied!  Once they achieved that ultimate purpose, they were left wondering, “Is this it?” 

I talked to my grandma about this.  She came of age in the 1950s and started a family of her own.  She said she didn’t know a single wife who fit the role of that stereotype we all know.  My grandma didn’t fill those shoes, either.  She was restless like everyone else Betty Friedan interviewed for her book.  I worried that this fact would prove contrary to the point I am trying to make, but then something stood out: My grandma wasn’t yet saved. 

I notice a detachment in people who aren’t walking with the Lord.  The hairdresser I last saw thought it was great that I’m at home now, but she said I’ll want to be far from it when I have children of my own.  Another woman at the bank relayed how tired she was from “babysitting” her son the previous day.  She had to watch him all day long!  My heart went out to that family.  Indicated at other points in the conversation, these women clearly weren’t saved.  The Lord must put something in His women in order to make them real, nurturing mothers.  Otherwise, we’re all just people floating alongside each other in this world, and one’s own is no different from another’s.   

Feminism has affected motherhood by telling women that they should be more.  I’ll admit, sometimes I fall under this false judgment, too, even before taking that leap.  This rampant, evil, unjust judgment condemns the hearts of those who are doing exactly what they are called to do.  It’s so sad to see this affect the lives of children who were brought into the world by no choice of their own. 
Being a mother is hard.  I do not speak from experience, but observation (and I am working to prepare myself for that prized position which I one day wish to hold).  I pray that you mothers will not feel the unnecessary guilt with which Satan weighs women down.  If you are a mother doing everything as unto the Lord, you are fulfilling the perfect role for you.  Don’t listen to the accuser who tells you that you aren’t enough.  What an undertaking being a full-time parent is!  And what an honor you are to the Lord. 

This is not meant to exclude those of you in the church who have the gift of singleness, those who have chosen not to have children or those who are employed single mothers.  If you’re following God’s plan for your life, you are an honor to Him, as well.  I am speaking for the faithful mothers because they are attacked by Satan through feminism.  Betty Friedan, a mother, does not condemn motherhood itself.  Rather, she discourages taking on motherhood as a full-time job, as a title, as a source of fulfillment.  But that’s just not fair to the women obedient to the Word who have made the decision to wholeheartedly raise their own families.  
      
You can see, if not live out, how difficult it is to be a full-time mom in a world that says, “Well, what else are you?”  Can you see how the feminist movement brought us here?  And can you see the sneaky role Satan has played behind the scenes of the movement that intended to exalt women? 
I pray that we will all remember to look at ourselves as God looks at us, not as the world looks at us.  As believers, we are promised persecution and tribulation.  But if we make it our mission to glorify Him in all things, we will overcome and be fulfilled (as much as we can be in our fallen state) by whatever life plan the Lord has laid out for us. 

May the Lord keep you,  
adguglielmo 

“There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit”-Romans 8:1.

The Proverbs 31 Woman

"Who can find a virtuous wife?  For her worth is far above rubies.  The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain.  She does him good and not evil all the days of her life.  She seeks wool and flax, and willingly works with her hands.  She is like the merchant ships, she brings her food from afar.  She also rises while it is yet night, and provides food for her household, and a portion for her maidservants.  She considers a field and buys it; from her profits she plants a vineyard.  She girds herself with strenghth, and strengthens her arms.  She perceives that her merchandise is good, and her lamp does not go out by night.  She stretches out her hands to the distaff, and her hand holds the spindle.  She extends her hand to the poor, yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy.  She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household is clothed with scarlet.  She makes tapestry for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple.  Her husband is known in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land.  She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies sashes for the merchants.  Strength and honor are her clothing; she shall rejoice in time to come.  She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness.  She watches over the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.  Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: "Many daughters have done well, but you excel them all."  Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.  Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her own works praise her in the gates"-Proverbs 31:10-31.

Dear Reader,

We've got a lot to do.  As women of God, we've been called to many great things.  I don't know how we will explain ourselves to the Judge if we aren't striving to measure up to this amazing woman in Proverbs.  But this instruction doesn't condemn us before God; rather, it makes promises to the virtuous wife, and likewise, to the husband who wisely chose her as his helpmate.  If we fulfill this great calling from the Lord, we as wives will be called "blessed" by our husbands and children (v. 28).  We will be praised by our husbands and our own works (v. 28, 31), and we will be given the fruit of our hands (v. 31).  Our husbands will trust us and, therefore, gain (v. 11), and they will be done only good by us, their wives (v. 12). 

These verses teach us what we need to be as wives, and what we can expect as a reward.  Being a virtuous wife does not go unnoticed by God, and prayerfully, by your own husband.  I cannot express the gratitude I felt when my husband told me how nice it is to come home to a clean apartment on Monday.  His appreciation only makes me want to do more.  

I pray that we will remember the actions of the virtuous wife in Proverbs 31.  Perhaps you will find a verse within that especially speaks to you, and ask the Lord to strengthen you to become a virtuous woman.  I pray that He will have His hand on all of us, young and old, as we strive toward the day when we will be perfect.  

Until then, God bless you, 

adguglielmo        

Whatever Things Are True

"Whatever things are true...think on these things"-Philippians 4:8.

Dear Reader, 

This week I started on the workbook for Loving God With All Your Mind by Elizabeth George.  A friend gave me the book and its corresponding study back in December.  I read a few chapters then, and it helped me realize all of the lies the enemy puts in our heads (as did The Screwtape Letters).  At the time, I needed to get over a hump, and just reading the first couple of chapters enabled me to do that.  Well, then came the final weeks before the wedding, then the honeymoon, then all of the settling...I just didn't pick it up for awhile.  I've had the intention, but I didn't make the commitment until the Lord brought the book into multiple conversations and Biblical messages last week.  

So I've been thinking about the first chapter all week.  It hones in on the verse above, and, let me tell you, exercising this command has proven unnatural.  That may appear to be a strong claim, but here's a little on just one of Satan's tactics that he has been using in my life:

He puts morbid scenarios in my head.  I've only told my husband about a few of them, but I have awful daydreams without realizing it.  I imagine a loved one dying, or an emergency situation (in a less than preparatory way).  I imagine being in a serious car crash, or an intruder marching through the door to take me captive.  I've always had a vivid imagination, and I found that writing my Barbie's stories in my head was always more fun than making her play them out.  But I've also had a lot of years of sudden emergency situations, and I think the devil has a hay day using my memory as a tool against me presently.  When I was growing up, I can't count the times that the police came out to my house.  The call would come from a family member, a neighbor or myself.  And these things would happen in the middle of the night as likely as they would in the middle of the day (it was never safe).  I would be asleep and have school or work the next morning, and explosive yelling would ring out.  One of the most dangerous times was only a couple of years ago, before my mom separated from her husband.  It seemed like something happened every day or night.  I carried my cell phone everywhere, including into the bathroom.  I tried to shower quickly so I would hear a fight start and be prepared for whatever happened next.  I slept in clothes I thought I could run in, if I had to.  

Now I sleep soundly next to my husband, knowing I'm safe.  I sleep in the arms of the Lord, confiding, "What can man do to me?" (Psalm 118:6).  

But the enemy knows what happened for all those years, and before I've been able to remember to think on whatever things are true, new wicked scenarios and untruthful images run through my head.  Sometimes they're upsetting, and other times, I am numb because of how frantic my life once was.  But I know they come from the evil one.  

This book is a perfect, necessary read for anyone who has experienced trauma.  We get swept up in our thinking before we know it's all lies.  But we're not allowed to do that.  The Lord commands us to take every thought captive and put it under the obedience of Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5).  As He instructs us in Philippians 4:8 to think on eight virtues, He instructs us not to think on what opposes those virtues.  So we disobey God when we give in to thinking about things untrue?  Yes.  Like I said, especially for people who have undergone some form of abuse, it seems unnatural to think on what is true instead of our anxieties (powered by Satan), which direct our thoughts.  But it's unnatural to do any of the things the Lord commands us to do when we're in our flesh.  That's why we need to ask the Lord to help us to take our thoughts captive.  We need to ask Him to transform us by the renewing of our minds (Romans 12:2).  I looked up the Greek for "renewing" in Vine's Expository Dictionary of Biblical Words, and came up with the word anakainosis, meaning "a renewal," which "stresses the willing response on the part of the believer."  This means it will be work.  We can't change our lifetime patterns of thought overnight.  But with the Holy Spirit working inside of us, we can think on the truth and leave Satan's lies in the dust.

Lord, I pray for forgiveness, because though I know what Your Word calls me to think on, I have forgotten and allowed my mind to run free when my thoughts ought to be captive.  Help me to take them captive, that they may be under Your authority, Jesus.  Help others who have been touched with trauma, that they may see that Your truths conquer the enemy's lies.  Direct us to Your Word when the liar starts speaking.  I pray that we will learn to always turn to You.  Amen.

I hope my anecdotes are helpful.  I don't feel sadness or anger when I relay them to you because I have forgiven those who created that past, and also because I long for the Lord to put to use that tribulation.  I want to comfort you as He comforted me (2 Corinthians 1:4), because He allowed the affliction for your benefit (verse 6).  

The Lord bless us and guide us together, 

adguglielmo          

Gratitude

Dear Reader,

In two days, I’m heading to my first women’s ministry event since I’ve been at Grace Bible Fellowship.  Since it’s my first time, I didn’t volunteer to host a table or speak (we’re having afternoon tea).  The focus of the event is gratitude (“In everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you”-1Thessalonians 5:18).

Needless to say, I’ve been thinking on my thanks.  And I made an interesting discovery: Some of the things I’m most grateful for are the times God answered my requests with a “no.”  How strange!  Who would think that a denied request would bring the most blessing?  The Lord answered “no” when I so desperately wanted to go to a university after high school.  I flip-flopped between wanting to go to a Christian school and a secular school.  When I realized that I just couldn’t afford to attend a Christian college, I moved onto applying to other schools.  I started out of state, but that was too expensive, as well.  So I moved onto state schools.  Even then, I couldn’t make it work.  So I went back to my first desire to attend a Christian university.  I can’t tell you how many colleges I applied to in the two years after I graduated, or how many scholarships I wrote essays for.  I was desperate. 

Even after I started dating my husband, I wanted to live on campus at Bethany University in Scotts Valley.  I thought it would finally work out, and that it would be the way to get me down to the Bay Area where Josh was waiting for me…and then the school closed!  I was in shock when I got the notification.  Once again, my plans didn’t work out. 

Today, I can see just part of the work God needed to accomplish by saying “no.”  The first lead me to meet and move in with my father after nineteen years of separation (please pray that I will be a light to him).  The second allowed me to marry my husband when I did (had I gone to Bethany, I would still be living on campus; had I gone anywhere else, I wouldn’t have met my husband).  I can only imagine all of the ways the Lord protected me by not allowing me to have my own way.

 Lord, Your will be done (Matthew 6:10).  I pray that others will be quicker to thank You for saying “no” to their requests.  Thank You for showing me some of the work You’ve been able to do just by denying my selfish request.  You are good!  We know that all things work together for the good of those who love You (Romans 8:28).  Help us to be thankful for everything, especially our tribulation, as it teaches us to be more like Jesus.  Thank You, Lord.

 In His name,

 adguglielmo

About the Will of God

Dear Reader, 

Bear with me as I wait for further instruction and inspiration from God on The Screwtape Letters.

I want to talk about something inspired by the message I heard last Sabbath at church (http://www.gbfsv.org/).  The key verse Pastor Cliff used was James 4:15, which reads: "You ought to say, 'If the Lord wills, we shall live and do this or that.'"  This made me reflect on what I know about the will of God.

First, we are to understand that everything is in the will of God.  Nothing happens that isn't allowed by Him.  This can be difficult to believe when we suffer hardship.  We wonder, How can the Lord expect me to endure?  How could He allow this for His precious child?    "We know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose," says Romans 8:28.  Even the hardship.  Especially the hardship.  It seems I asked myself for so long, Why do I have to suffer?  How come my family doesn't act like all the other families?  And as I grew older, resentment grew, and I just couldn't figure it out.  Even after I became a Christian, I looked at my friends' lives, at their parents who raised them in the way they should go, and I felt jealousy over the guidance and love they grew up with.  How come they have You and they get to have functional lives, Lord?  I've come to realize now that Jesus saved all of His people in the same way (by dying on the cross in the place of each of us sinners who accept His grace), but we don't all find salvation in the same way.  For some, it takes a lifetime of a willful attitude and sinful action before they see the Truth while lying on their deathbeds.  Murderers find Jesus in prison as they serve their life sentences.  Paul came to know the Lord after actively persecuting those who believed.  For some, it takes a lot of sinning to realize the abounding grace of God.  But for others, it takes the Biblical formula for how to live.  It takes parents who learn the Lord's commands and then teach them diligently to their children (Deuteronomy 6:5-7).  But maybe if I grew up in a Christian home, I wouldn't have the relationship I have with the Lord today.  So I am grateful for God's knowledge of my soul (Romans 8:29), and the blessing of enduring hardship in order to know Him.  Amen.

James 4:15 indicates that we ought to want His will to be done (also refer to Matthew 6:10). This can be tricky.  I am no expert on wanting anyone's will but my own.  My grandma kept a journal for me from the time I was a year-and-a-half old.  Her first entry, dated September 12, 1992, reads: "You...are very strong willed and aggressive.  You very much want your own way...I like to hug you or sing 'Shine Jesus' when you are especially naughty.  Sometimes I just laugh and tell you that someday Jesus will break that strong will of yours.  He certainly delights in making us gentle."  At such an early age, I showed my sinful nature and pride in my own way.  Now, when I seek to fulfill my will, I see that I am just acting like a toddler.  Just in the months since I've been married, God has been working to teach me to honor the will of my husband.  In my women's precept Bible study, we just learned the Greek for the word "submit," or be subject to, in regard to our husbands.  What interested me is that the key is willfulness.  This kind of submission is a developed will of a wife under her husband.  We are to desire to do the will of our husbands!  In the same way, we are meant to long for the implementing of God's will.  Again, we do not wish hardship on our families or ourselves.  But truly longing for the will of God allows us to accept with gratitude these trials ("In everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you"-1 Thessalonians 5:18).  

  

Father, I pray that you crucify our selfish desires today.  Help us to long for Your will, knowing that our submission brings glory to you.  Fill us with the truth that abiding by Your will brings us closer to You.  Thank You, Jesus, for your ready forgiveness for when we stumble and long only for what we want.  We praise You for Your grace.  Amen.

As always, may God bless you in everything you do today.

adguglielmo