Our Speech

"Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt..."-Colossians 4:6.

I just finished up the last lesson of my Colossians precept study.  I had never even heard of Precept Ministries before I signed up for the class.  But I had just been let down by the closure of the Christian university I had my eye on, so when I heard the class required a lot of homework, I, interestingly enough, couldn't wait to start.  My husband and I got engaged the weekend before the first class, and as we planned our wedding in three months, I didn't put as much effort into the study as I had hoped to.  However, I still yielded the great results of increased knowledge of the Word, as well as a more humble attitude before the Lord. 

This last day of study focused on our speaking to unbelievers.  Lately, I have been thinking about my speech.  If someone whom I don't know were to drop in on a conversation between my husband and I, between another saint and I, or between my mom and I, would he know that I follow Christ?  What if I didn't mention Christ at all?  Would there still be a chance that I would be set apart for my wholesome speaking? 

My guess is no.  Lately, the Lord has put it on my heart to watch the things that I say.  I don't mean curse words in particular, because those seem easy enough to avoid (I would certainly disagree if I were still in high school; thank You Jesus, for growing me every day).  I'm talking about content, the subject material of my conversations.  Are the things I say worthy of reaching the ears of my Father?  No, not always.  I think I've had a few conversations this week that the Lord heard and was pleased by.  But I know I've also had conversations in which words tumble out of my mouth before I can catch them, or worse, I speak in spite of the Holy Spirit's instruction to be quiet.  I cringe thinking about both of these, knowing that I can do better. 

For me, the struggle is a heart attitude.  What I have in my heart is revealed in my speaking.  If I have a bad attitude about something, it will inevitably show in my choice of words.  My first instinct is to wish that I could just keep it to myself.  But I know if I did, I would be without physical evidence of my heart issue, and likely hang on to it rather than address and demolish it.  I didn't understand this until I started writing. 

I asked my husband a few days ago what it means when he prays for the Lord to bless our conversation.  He asks this nearly every time we pray, but I never questioned what he meant by it until Tuesday.  He prays this so that our conversation will be glorifying to God, as I thought, but it wasn't until I heard those words that I felt convicted.  Is what I say glorifying to you, Lord?  I want all of my words to be seasoned with salt.  I want them to be flavored with the language of Your Word to bring glory to You and to teach others who You are and who Your people are called to be.  

In Ephesians 4:29, we read: "Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers."  This is similar to the verse from Colossians above, which is preceded by this: "Conduct yourself with wisdom toward outsiders, making the most of the opportunity" (Colossians 4:5).  As believers, we have the responsibility of letting Christ reveal Himself in our actions and in our speaking.  And as you know, that is a really hard thing to do.  So I pray, Father, that You remind others as You reminded me that our speech is a way to glorify and honor You.  Bind the enemy who longs to push forth his thoughts from our mouths.  Let us speak only according to what You have revealed to us through Your Word.  Amen. 

Have a blessed weekend of wholesome speaking,

adguglielmo

About the Will of God

Dear Reader, 

Bear with me as I wait for further instruction and inspiration from God on The Screwtape Letters.

I want to talk about something inspired by the message I heard last Sabbath at church (http://www.gbfsv.org/).  The key verse Pastor Cliff used was James 4:15, which reads: "You ought to say, 'If the Lord wills, we shall live and do this or that.'"  This made me reflect on what I know about the will of God.

First, we are to understand that everything is in the will of God.  Nothing happens that isn't allowed by Him.  This can be difficult to believe when we suffer hardship.  We wonder, How can the Lord expect me to endure?  How could He allow this for His precious child?    "We know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose," says Romans 8:28.  Even the hardship.  Especially the hardship.  It seems I asked myself for so long, Why do I have to suffer?  How come my family doesn't act like all the other families?  And as I grew older, resentment grew, and I just couldn't figure it out.  Even after I became a Christian, I looked at my friends' lives, at their parents who raised them in the way they should go, and I felt jealousy over the guidance and love they grew up with.  How come they have You and they get to have functional lives, Lord?  I've come to realize now that Jesus saved all of His people in the same way (by dying on the cross in the place of each of us sinners who accept His grace), but we don't all find salvation in the same way.  For some, it takes a lifetime of a willful attitude and sinful action before they see the Truth while lying on their deathbeds.  Murderers find Jesus in prison as they serve their life sentences.  Paul came to know the Lord after actively persecuting those who believed.  For some, it takes a lot of sinning to realize the abounding grace of God.  But for others, it takes the Biblical formula for how to live.  It takes parents who learn the Lord's commands and then teach them diligently to their children (Deuteronomy 6:5-7).  But maybe if I grew up in a Christian home, I wouldn't have the relationship I have with the Lord today.  So I am grateful for God's knowledge of my soul (Romans 8:29), and the blessing of enduring hardship in order to know Him.  Amen.

James 4:15 indicates that we ought to want His will to be done (also refer to Matthew 6:10). This can be tricky.  I am no expert on wanting anyone's will but my own.  My grandma kept a journal for me from the time I was a year-and-a-half old.  Her first entry, dated September 12, 1992, reads: "You...are very strong willed and aggressive.  You very much want your own way...I like to hug you or sing 'Shine Jesus' when you are especially naughty.  Sometimes I just laugh and tell you that someday Jesus will break that strong will of yours.  He certainly delights in making us gentle."  At such an early age, I showed my sinful nature and pride in my own way.  Now, when I seek to fulfill my will, I see that I am just acting like a toddler.  Just in the months since I've been married, God has been working to teach me to honor the will of my husband.  In my women's precept Bible study, we just learned the Greek for the word "submit," or be subject to, in regard to our husbands.  What interested me is that the key is willfulness.  This kind of submission is a developed will of a wife under her husband.  We are to desire to do the will of our husbands!  In the same way, we are meant to long for the implementing of God's will.  Again, we do not wish hardship on our families or ourselves.  But truly longing for the will of God allows us to accept with gratitude these trials ("In everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you"-1 Thessalonians 5:18).  

  

Father, I pray that you crucify our selfish desires today.  Help us to long for Your will, knowing that our submission brings glory to you.  Fill us with the truth that abiding by Your will brings us closer to You.  Thank You, Jesus, for your ready forgiveness for when we stumble and long only for what we want.  We praise You for Your grace.  Amen.

As always, may God bless you in everything you do today.

adguglielmo

On Forgiveness, Part Two

"Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth"-Colossians 3:2.

Last year as I was working my way toward marriage, I thought it would be a good idea to see a Christian counselor.  I knew the importance of preparing for such a permanent life choice because I had seen the results of what happens otherwise.  I wanted to get over my "coping mechanisms" and learn to be at peace in Christ, so I went on a hunt for someone who taught Biblical principles and instruction as a method of healing from abuse.  I didn't want anyone to tell me, "You look great!  I can't believe you overeat" (which was a similar response from the first counselor I saw), or "I'm impressed by you.  You've really overcome your tribulation" (which I've heard from people who view the choices I've made as petty in comparison to what some do as a result of abuse).  I wanted to tell someone exactly what kind of a sinner I was, and I wanted to hear what the Bible had to say about that. 

It only took two consultations before I found my guy.  He was a pastor for nearly a decade, had a counseling practice for over two decades, and a wife for even longer than that.  He had eight children (the youngest being my age), and when we weren't talking about me, we were talking about his kids.  I appreciated his emphasis on family, as that is what I couldn't wait to build.  So we met and talked for about three months.

I promised myself that I would be completely honest.  I truly wanted to "heal" and move away from the resentment I had built up over the years.  I didn't want to start a family on the foundation I had grown up with, but on the foundation of Christ.  We looked up a lot of Scripture, and I was assigned a lot of homework.  It started with dissecting Bible verses, but it turned into a lot of writing about events from the past.  I had always liked journaling, so I had plenty of records.  But the point wasn't to disclose to my counselor what had happened.  The purpose was to draw out my feelings about my family and the hurt I felt by the choices my parents made.  I have documents called "10 Things Being Robbed Of My Childhood Did To Me" and "List of Ouchies" (literally a compiled list of all the wrongs my parents had ever done that affected me.  Well, I had started with my mom, and by the time I was finished, I was too exhausted and upset to attempt to think about what John had done). 

This is where we went wrong. 

When I moved to San Jose last summer, part of me thought I had left all of my troubles behind.  My counselor had warned me that would not be the case, but I couldn't imagine carrying all of my baggage with me.  In reality, I just couldn't blame my family for my actions anymore, because they were all of 682 miles away. 

I started going to a Bible study a couple months after the move, and that's when I heard the truth I needed to hear.  Colossians 3:1,2 directed me to Christ rather than myself.  The chapter continues, "For you died, and your life is hidden with God in Christ" (v.3).  What does this mean?  I am not to go on dissecting this life, because it isn't my true life.  I am not to be inward-focused on how my parents made me feel.  When my counselor had me do these activities, I couldn't figure out why "letting myself feel" didn't stop me from hurting myself anyway.  I would cry during our session, but they weren't healing tears.  Rather, they turned to hot anger the next time my mom and I spoke, preventing my heart from forgiving. 

I praise the Lord for opening my eyes to His Word.  Oh, how opening my Bible has opened me to true life with God in heaven!  I couldn't have forgiven if my thoughts had remained on my hurt.  But knowing what Christ has done for me, finally having the eyes to see it relate to everything, has allowed me to forgive.  Praise the Lord! 

People can't heal people.  God heals people.  He does it in different ways, through different Scripture and experience and study.  I thought I had done everything I could possibly do to heal, and I felt hopeless against my habits.  But one day, the Lord showed me something different, and everything changed.  Oh Lord Jesus, thank You for Your work in my life!  I praise You for the blessing of eternal life with You, and the knowledge that in You, my true life lies.  I pray today that everyone who reads this will know or come to know this truth.  In Your name, amen.

May the Lord bless you as He has blessed me,

adguglielmo 

On Forgiveness

"You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you begged me. Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?"-Matthew 28:32, 33

Part of my Bible study homework focused my attention on forgiveness this week. After I looked up the directed Scripture reading, I came to the next question, which asked, "Now, are you going to forgive?"

What I have to forgive in others is great. I was born out of wedlock, and I didn't meet my father until I was 19 years old (my mom gave birth to me at the same age). My mom's first marriage was short and nearly unmemorable, as I was only about two when they married and divorced. Around that time, you'll find John, the man I called "dad" throughout my childhood. But he didn't fill the role very well: Once he moved my mom and I away from all of our family, he proceeded to beat us. They had already brought my first sister into the world, but she remained untouched. John's attention stayed on me. Every move I made, every word I spoke came under harsh judgment followed by abusive punishment. Sometimes my mom would intervene. Sometimes she couldn't bear to believe what I told her. She never understood why, as I got older, I grew angry with her for the abuse John inflicted on me. Years passed, two more sisters were born, and the abuse continued. After several reports of John's crime, he nearly ceased to harm me physically. But how much worse was the emotional abuse. I spent such a long time trying to pacify my anguish by hurting myself. I started cutting when I was 12. I spent many years trying to gain control by overeating or under eating, or by not eating at all. My mom saw what was happening, but what could she do? Her life wasn't exactly together. But she reached the end of her wit with John two years ago, that summer he shattered the glass back door of our SUV over her arm. She obtained a restraining order, and he couldn’t come near my family.

My mom and I fought so much after that. She didn't understand why, after my years of pleading for her to leave him, I wasn't satisfied. Because I was grown! I was moving out of state two weeks later! Why hadn't she gathered her senses sooner? I would never get to be a happy child.

Let me tell you something: I am a happy child! The Lord is my Father, and He has fathered me well. He is gentle and caring and always listening to what I need...and then He provides for me. He comforts me when sorrow fills my heart. He encourages and strengthens me to do His bidding. There is no shortage of love from my Father, and I am the happiest a daughter could be. And to have His grace! Oh, how it abounds. I am sinful and in desperate need of forgiveness, and He forgives me. How, then, can my heart remain in unforgiveness for others?

"Now, are you going to forgive?"

Yes. I forgive you, John. I have an uplifted heart, and I am not burdened by your misdeed anymore. Please come to know the grace of God yourself. And Mom, I forgive you, too. It was a slower forgiveness, but it came through growth in the Lord. Thank you for seeking our Father. Now we're sisters in Christ! Although I know neither of you will ever read this, you will come to know my forgiveness.

It took much longer to forgive than to write this to you. I pray that the Lord will soften your heart sooner than I allowed Him to soften mine. Remember what Jesus taught in Matthew 6:14 and 15: "If you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."

Now, are you going to forgive?

Screwtape and I, Chapter Five

I don’t know much about war, but that it results from sin, and therefore seems a playing field for Satan. However, in this chapter, Screwtape urges Wormwood not to become too excited over the approaching World War II. He tells his nephew that war draws people to think of death, taking away from “contented worldliness,” which the devil works to cultivate in people in order to gain followers. If we’re content here, what vision of the future could we possibly wish for? Will our eyes be set on the things above if we’re living for the perpetuation of the earth?

 Again with that distraction! I’m coming to see what a powerful tool it is. Back in chapter four, Screwtape writes, “It’s funny how mortals always picture us as putting things into their minds; in reality our best work is done by keeping things out.” If we don’t know the truth of eternity, what else could we live for but each day? War brings to mind the possibility of the end of a life. Whether you’re thinking about yourself or your spouse or your brother, you’re enabled to see life’s frailty (this life’s frailty). But the devil doesn’t want us to think about that! He wants us to seek every pleasure to our fulfillment, having no vision of consequence. But when we seek those pleasures, we are never fulfilled. We will not be satisfied until we reach eternity with the Triune God (Ecclesiastes 3:11).

While it seems that war would be the devil’s ultimate tool to drag people to hell, God works even in the utmost evil. Because war opens eyes to the potential of death, we have to address the inevitable question of the afterlife. Where are you going to go? Let’s think like those in combat, and ask the biggest question of life: Where will you be once this short life is over and we begin in eternity? Where will our friends and our families be? While it is truly up to God who is written in the Book of Life (Revelation 3:5), it is our responsibility to ask the question. It’s not something worth waiting for. As those who face the very real potential of death in war, we need to ask, Where am I going? and Where are you going? Let’s not allow Satan to withhold things from our minds. Yes, it seems as though there’s always tomorrow to ask your friend where she’ll be in eternity, but that may not be true. Give her a chance while she still has one. Pray with me today that we will have the courage to ask others the most important question they will every answer. Do not fear the reaction of man more than the fate of their eternal lives. Let’s stand together in our evangelization!
God bless,
adguglielmo

Screwtape and I, Chapter Four

In Screwtape’s next letter, he encourages Wormwood to drive praying for a feeling into his patient.  Screwtape writes, “When they meant to pray for courage, let them really be trying to feel brave.  When they say they are praying for forgiveness, let them be trying to feel forgiven.  Teach them to estimate the value of each prayer by their success in producing the desired feeling.”  Have you ever done this?  Have you ever felt heavy laden with sin, turned to God in repentance, and still felt guilty?  Did that continued guilt seemingly indicate a failed prayer and unforgiveness from the Father?

We well know that Satan is the father of lies (John 8:44).  Have we thought about how he tries to enter our prayer life with these lies?  If he can’t prevent us from praying, he will try to push his way into our conversations with God by encouraging us to pray the wrong way.  When we pray for forgiveness, we want our sin to be wiped clean, but our human nature calls for that pacifying feeling in order to know that we’ve been forgiven.  The truth is, though, whether we continue in guilt or we feel that our sin has been washed, if our hearts truly repent, we have been forgiven.  Sometimes I am glad to quickly move away from my sin, and other times, the guilt lingers.  But that lasting feeling that I’ve done wrong serves the purpose of reminding me not to do it again.  

Speaking from my own walk, I think sometimes Satan has an easy time of focusing our attention inward on our emotions.  He teaches us to think of our present state of mind as “reality,” calling us to focus in on whatever we feel at present, tricking us into seeing only a brief moment in time rather than the whole picture.  When we think thusly, we don’t always see impending consequences for what we say and do in these moments.  Do you find yourself reflecting on the devil’s strategy, only to fall into the easy snare the next time you’re upset?  I do.  After an argument or a short temper, once some resolution is made, I feel so silly!  Tricked into believing in feelings again.  That’s not to say I don’t believe in the value of emotion.  The Lord created us to emote and connect with others because of feelings in common.  However, feelings leave us, and the Truth doesn’t.  Remember this.

Keeping the perspective of what feelings are in relation to everything else will help us stand against the devil when he tells us our prayer is ineffective because we don’t feel better.  Remember, he doesn’t want you to pray.  He wants you to think that your prayers mean nothing so that you will stop praying.  But don’t stop!  Don’t stop, even when you think God can’t hear a thing.  He hears everything, and He wants to hear more.  Please don’t be deceived.  Pray with me today that we will keep praying in spite of how we feel when we pray.  Pray that we will be able to keep our emotions in perspective, and always see beyond to God’s true Word.  

God bless you today and every day, 

adguglielmo

Screwtape and I, Chapter Three

The third chapter addresses “domestic hatred.”  A common phrase denotes this equal-opportunity attack: “Familiarity breeds contempt.”  In households lacking Christ, this often leads to a ripping apart of husband and wife, toppling what was not built on a firm foundation.  Or we end up living at odds with our natural family, picking apart tiny offenses.  Screwtape encourages Wormwood to focus his “patient’s” attention on those annoying habits his mother has, teaching him to believe that she does them to spite him.  

I can say I’ve easily fallen into this trap.  My sister keeps singing that song she knows I hate!  My mom knows it bugs me when she doesn’t answer her phone, but she never seems to pick up when I call!  These seemingly harmless actions can turn a family upside down for a time.  How silly it is to think so highly of ourselves that everything everyone does has anything to do with us.

The enemy can wreak havoc on a family, if we let him.  The difference between a marriage of believers and a marriage of non-believers is the foundation (whether one exists or not).  Those who marry under God have the foundation beginning with the chief cornerstone (Psalm 118:22).  At times, it may seem like there’s nothing they can agree on.  But then they’ll agree on Christ!  And if Christ is the agreement, everything is settled.  Unfortunately for a couple who doesn’t believe, there may be a time when there’s nothing they can agree on, and that’s where it ends.  There’s no Mediator or commonality between them.  

“Familiarity breeds contempt,” but the Lord Jesus Christ triumphs beyond selfishness and human nature.  Scripture commands us to “be angry, and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on [our] wrath” (Ephesians 4:26).  While sinful people grate on sinful people (therefore binding us to some annoyance resulting from our sinners surrounding), we are told to resolve our conflicts before the day passes.  When we take our time to forgive or ask for forgiveness, we give the devil a longer deception period.  He wants us to have time to think so that he can inject his own thoughts, sometimes slyly enough for us to believe they belong to our minds.  When my husband sees a conflict forming, he immediately wants to resolve it.  It takes me a little bit longer.  My natural family was never quick to address issues, so I carried that with me.  But I so appreciate my husband’s diligence in not allowing the enemy any time to warp our thoughts.  When I look back on family arguments lasting any time span, I can see where the enemy took the liberty of including his paragraphs in our speech.  Often, the original conflict got lost in Satan’s injections. 

As believers, we don’t want to give place to the enemy in our lives, but he’s very good at creeping in, especially into a family.  He wants to tear us apart.  He wants to deceive us into thinking that we are, in fact, fighting flesh and blood (contrary to Ephesians 6:12).  But we must realize that, yes, our family of sinners will do something to make us angry.  It’s best to catch this at the beginning of an annoyance, realizing that Christ’s followers are too distracted by Him to be doing anything to intentionally bother us.  If the annoyance gives way to open conflict, be aware of the devil’s purpose (go back to 1 Peter 5:8).  Don’t let too much time pass before you remember.

Pray today that we may remember our family is made up of sinners, including you and me.  Pray that we may get to a place of repentance quickly if we offend our sister; pray that our heart easily forgives our brother for his offence.  Let’s walk humbly before the One who humbled Himself on the cross.

In His name,

adguglielmo