The Proverbs 31 Woman

"Who can find a virtuous wife?  For her worth is far above rubies.  The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain.  She does him good and not evil all the days of her life.  She seeks wool and flax, and willingly works with her hands.  She is like the merchant ships, she brings her food from afar.  She also rises while it is yet night, and provides food for her household, and a portion for her maidservants.  She considers a field and buys it; from her profits she plants a vineyard.  She girds herself with strenghth, and strengthens her arms.  She perceives that her merchandise is good, and her lamp does not go out by night.  She stretches out her hands to the distaff, and her hand holds the spindle.  She extends her hand to the poor, yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy.  She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household is clothed with scarlet.  She makes tapestry for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple.  Her husband is known in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land.  She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies sashes for the merchants.  Strength and honor are her clothing; she shall rejoice in time to come.  She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness.  She watches over the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.  Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: "Many daughters have done well, but you excel them all."  Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.  Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her own works praise her in the gates"-Proverbs 31:10-31.

Dear Reader,

We've got a lot to do.  As women of God, we've been called to many great things.  I don't know how we will explain ourselves to the Judge if we aren't striving to measure up to this amazing woman in Proverbs.  But this instruction doesn't condemn us before God; rather, it makes promises to the virtuous wife, and likewise, to the husband who wisely chose her as his helpmate.  If we fulfill this great calling from the Lord, we as wives will be called "blessed" by our husbands and children (v. 28).  We will be praised by our husbands and our own works (v. 28, 31), and we will be given the fruit of our hands (v. 31).  Our husbands will trust us and, therefore, gain (v. 11), and they will be done only good by us, their wives (v. 12). 

These verses teach us what we need to be as wives, and what we can expect as a reward.  Being a virtuous wife does not go unnoticed by God, and prayerfully, by your own husband.  I cannot express the gratitude I felt when my husband told me how nice it is to come home to a clean apartment on Monday.  His appreciation only makes me want to do more.  

I pray that we will remember the actions of the virtuous wife in Proverbs 31.  Perhaps you will find a verse within that especially speaks to you, and ask the Lord to strengthen you to become a virtuous woman.  I pray that He will have His hand on all of us, young and old, as we strive toward the day when we will be perfect.  

Until then, God bless you, 

adguglielmo        

Feminism

Dear Reader, 

One of my facebook friends posted someone's list of injustices done to men because of feminism.  It was an exhausting read because of the repetition, blanket statements and unbelievable statistics.  The list was clearly written in anger, and I just don't agree with most of it.

Wait a second...now you think I'm a feminist!  Well, the joke's on you.  Knowing what the Bible says about men and women prevents me from being getting caught in the riptide of feminism.  However, I am very curious about how the whole movement started.  I recently read in a history book that Betty Friedan's The Feminine Mystique (1963) served as the "Bible of the feminist movement."  I want to know what all of the fuss was about.  I ordered a copy (so that I can make my own notes and Scripture references in the margins), and it should be here tomorrow.  

One description of the book says: "Friedan maintained that the post-World War II emphasis on family forced women to think of themselves primarily as housewives and robbed them of much of their creative potential."  

So I wonder: Is every homemaker or stay-at-home mom robbed of her creative potential?  Or is she exactly where she should be in order to let her creativity blossom within the context of what the Lord calls her to do?  You may call me biased, because I love being at home.  I love impressing my husband by making our weekend mess sparkling clean.  The undeniable convenience of handling business affairs during business hours blesses us, as well.  I get to experiment in the kitchen; I don't have to rely on Hungry Man to feed my hungry man.  I take care of situations requiring immediate attention (if our flatware rusts and we need to find a new set, pronto, I can be at the department store scouring shelves the same day).  And I'm learning tricks to stretch a dollar (we make up for having one income in the Bay Area by my close eye on the budget).  

I also get to write to you about my experiences and my walk with the Lord. 

Then there are the stay-at-home moms, and they're in a league of their own.  I was a nanny and a preschool teacher for years, and while I learned some of the skills every mom at home needs, I don't believe I scratched the surface of what they do.  They're on-call 24/7; I got to go home at the end of the day, and I had weekends!  They do all of the things I do (and more) with a toddler crying at their feet.  A friend who gave birth to her second son four days after our wedding threw both my bridal shower and bachelorette party (did I mention her first son hit his "terrible twos" early?).  At what point wasn't she realizing her creative potential?

Now, tell me, should she go back to school and try to make it as a rocket scientist because having a  family robbed her of her creative potential?  I think she'd be pretty busy trying to fulfill all of her responsibilities at home with that added commitment; there would have to be sacrifice.  I mentioned that I worked in childcare for awhile.  While it was great to be employed by my natural instincts and to get attached to some sweet kids, knowing that some were there from the time the school opened to after closing time (that means over eleven hours) broke my heart.  And sometimes, a child would turn from obedience as soon as his parents walked through the door, craving attention and discipline from those responsible for him.  Children are the first to face sacrifice when a mom neglects her duties at home. 

But feminism dictates that fulfilling household and family duties isn't enough.  Women have cast each other down trying to bring each other up.  Now we face our duties at home in addition to maintaining full-fledged careers.  And when the men, tired from doing their own jobs, don't instinctively pitch in at home, resentment builds, and Satan fans the flame of hatred. 

I have a lot more to say, and once I begin reading The Feminine Mystique with my Bible next to me, I will share further insight.  To anyone reading, please don't take offense to what you think I may be implying; instead, think about what I've said.  This is a sensitive topic, especially for my generation, as we never experienced a time before "girl power."  There are many more issues to be addressed.  We'll get there. 

Blessings today and everyday,

adguglielmo

Proverbs 31:10-31

Whatever Things Are True

"Whatever things are true...think on these things"-Philippians 4:8.

Dear Reader, 

This week I started on the workbook for Loving God With All Your Mind by Elizabeth George.  A friend gave me the book and its corresponding study back in December.  I read a few chapters then, and it helped me realize all of the lies the enemy puts in our heads (as did The Screwtape Letters).  At the time, I needed to get over a hump, and just reading the first couple of chapters enabled me to do that.  Well, then came the final weeks before the wedding, then the honeymoon, then all of the settling...I just didn't pick it up for awhile.  I've had the intention, but I didn't make the commitment until the Lord brought the book into multiple conversations and Biblical messages last week.  

So I've been thinking about the first chapter all week.  It hones in on the verse above, and, let me tell you, exercising this command has proven unnatural.  That may appear to be a strong claim, but here's a little on just one of Satan's tactics that he has been using in my life:

He puts morbid scenarios in my head.  I've only told my husband about a few of them, but I have awful daydreams without realizing it.  I imagine a loved one dying, or an emergency situation (in a less than preparatory way).  I imagine being in a serious car crash, or an intruder marching through the door to take me captive.  I've always had a vivid imagination, and I found that writing my Barbie's stories in my head was always more fun than making her play them out.  But I've also had a lot of years of sudden emergency situations, and I think the devil has a hay day using my memory as a tool against me presently.  When I was growing up, I can't count the times that the police came out to my house.  The call would come from a family member, a neighbor or myself.  And these things would happen in the middle of the night as likely as they would in the middle of the day (it was never safe).  I would be asleep and have school or work the next morning, and explosive yelling would ring out.  One of the most dangerous times was only a couple of years ago, before my mom separated from her husband.  It seemed like something happened every day or night.  I carried my cell phone everywhere, including into the bathroom.  I tried to shower quickly so I would hear a fight start and be prepared for whatever happened next.  I slept in clothes I thought I could run in, if I had to.  

Now I sleep soundly next to my husband, knowing I'm safe.  I sleep in the arms of the Lord, confiding, "What can man do to me?" (Psalm 118:6).  

But the enemy knows what happened for all those years, and before I've been able to remember to think on whatever things are true, new wicked scenarios and untruthful images run through my head.  Sometimes they're upsetting, and other times, I am numb because of how frantic my life once was.  But I know they come from the evil one.  

This book is a perfect, necessary read for anyone who has experienced trauma.  We get swept up in our thinking before we know it's all lies.  But we're not allowed to do that.  The Lord commands us to take every thought captive and put it under the obedience of Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5).  As He instructs us in Philippians 4:8 to think on eight virtues, He instructs us not to think on what opposes those virtues.  So we disobey God when we give in to thinking about things untrue?  Yes.  Like I said, especially for people who have undergone some form of abuse, it seems unnatural to think on what is true instead of our anxieties (powered by Satan), which direct our thoughts.  But it's unnatural to do any of the things the Lord commands us to do when we're in our flesh.  That's why we need to ask the Lord to help us to take our thoughts captive.  We need to ask Him to transform us by the renewing of our minds (Romans 12:2).  I looked up the Greek for "renewing" in Vine's Expository Dictionary of Biblical Words, and came up with the word anakainosis, meaning "a renewal," which "stresses the willing response on the part of the believer."  This means it will be work.  We can't change our lifetime patterns of thought overnight.  But with the Holy Spirit working inside of us, we can think on the truth and leave Satan's lies in the dust.

Lord, I pray for forgiveness, because though I know what Your Word calls me to think on, I have forgotten and allowed my mind to run free when my thoughts ought to be captive.  Help me to take them captive, that they may be under Your authority, Jesus.  Help others who have been touched with trauma, that they may see that Your truths conquer the enemy's lies.  Direct us to Your Word when the liar starts speaking.  I pray that we will learn to always turn to You.  Amen.

I hope my anecdotes are helpful.  I don't feel sadness or anger when I relay them to you because I have forgiven those who created that past, and also because I long for the Lord to put to use that tribulation.  I want to comfort you as He comforted me (2 Corinthians 1:4), because He allowed the affliction for your benefit (verse 6).  

The Lord bless us and guide us together, 

adguglielmo          

Gratitude, Part Two

Dear Reader, 

This morning, I woke up on the wrong side of the bed.  I foolishly started the day without getting into the Word, and I ended up even grouchier.  Breakfast was a disaster!  I decided on waffles, but then the first one completely stuck to the iron, and there was no way to clean it off until the whole iron cooled.  Since I had the batter ready, I moved onto pancakes.  The first three flipped normally, but the fourth collapsed into a gooey mess as I attempted to flip it uncooked.  This flipping attempt followed a mess of veggie bacon that stuck to the pan like glue.  I didn't even get a chance to flip those.  At that point, I just wanted to crawl into a hole and cry.  Really, the situation was quite humorous, as my husband expressed, but I was in no mood to hear it.  

I don't know why some days start out grouchier than others, but I do know that there's an immediate way to change my attitude.  At a time when I endured near constant trials, I meditated on Psalm 118:24 daily.  It reads, "This is the day the Lord has made; we will rejoice and be glad in it."  I spoke that verse in my head over and over again so that I could remember to be grateful for what I knew would be another trying day.  I made it through that time, and only with His strength inside me (Philippians 4:13).  I sometimes forget how much my life has turned around, making it easier to take things for granted (how could I be grumpy waking up next to my best friend on a day that my Best Friend graciously provided for me?).  But then the Lord does something for me that I don't deserve, and I humbly change my attitude.

Today, He provided me with excellent customer service.  I worried that going shopping would make me even less patient, as it isn't my favorite chore.  But when we need something, somebody has to go get it! I asked just the right person about a certain product that wasn't on the shelves, as the brand was discontinued.  She hopped online and checked all of the stores in the country to find what I was looking for, and then spent 20 minutes on hold while someone in Utah checked the store's stock.  It turns out they had one!  So the clerk wrote down my information, waived the cost of shipping, accepted my coupon, and told me to expect it on my doorstep.  I had been looking for this product for months, only hearing from other clerks that if I didn't see it on the shelves, they didn't have it.  But someone went the extra mile to ensure that I got what I had been looking for.  I thanked her with much gratitude, and I let a superior know about her excellent service.  I would have felt so guilty walking out that door if I wasn't sure that employee would be recognized for her outstanding customer service.  

After I let the clerk know how much she blessed my day, I thanked the Lord for the woman's presence in the midst of my bad attitude.  I've been in a much better mood since.  God seems to put just the right people in our lives, even strangers, when we need them.  I am so humbled by the Lord's continual grace and blessings in spite of all of the things I do that make me undeserving.  He is so merciful, isn't He?  Thank You Lord, for always caring for Your children in spite of our ingratitude toward You.  There isn't a thing we shouldn't be grateful for, as You make everything work together for our good.  Please forgive me for starting the day blindly by neglecting Your Word.  Thank You for Your mercy.  Amen. 

I pray that you will be quicker to kneel before the Lord when you wake up on the wrong side of the bed.  He's given us this day, after all!

In His grace, 
adguglielmo     

Gratitude

Dear Reader,

In two days, I’m heading to my first women’s ministry event since I’ve been at Grace Bible Fellowship.  Since it’s my first time, I didn’t volunteer to host a table or speak (we’re having afternoon tea).  The focus of the event is gratitude (“In everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you”-1Thessalonians 5:18).

Needless to say, I’ve been thinking on my thanks.  And I made an interesting discovery: Some of the things I’m most grateful for are the times God answered my requests with a “no.”  How strange!  Who would think that a denied request would bring the most blessing?  The Lord answered “no” when I so desperately wanted to go to a university after high school.  I flip-flopped between wanting to go to a Christian school and a secular school.  When I realized that I just couldn’t afford to attend a Christian college, I moved onto applying to other schools.  I started out of state, but that was too expensive, as well.  So I moved onto state schools.  Even then, I couldn’t make it work.  So I went back to my first desire to attend a Christian university.  I can’t tell you how many colleges I applied to in the two years after I graduated, or how many scholarships I wrote essays for.  I was desperate. 

Even after I started dating my husband, I wanted to live on campus at Bethany University in Scotts Valley.  I thought it would finally work out, and that it would be the way to get me down to the Bay Area where Josh was waiting for me…and then the school closed!  I was in shock when I got the notification.  Once again, my plans didn’t work out. 

Today, I can see just part of the work God needed to accomplish by saying “no.”  The first lead me to meet and move in with my father after nineteen years of separation (please pray that I will be a light to him).  The second allowed me to marry my husband when I did (had I gone to Bethany, I would still be living on campus; had I gone anywhere else, I wouldn’t have met my husband).  I can only imagine all of the ways the Lord protected me by not allowing me to have my own way.

 Lord, Your will be done (Matthew 6:10).  I pray that others will be quicker to thank You for saying “no” to their requests.  Thank You for showing me some of the work You’ve been able to do just by denying my selfish request.  You are good!  We know that all things work together for the good of those who love You (Romans 8:28).  Help us to be thankful for everything, especially our tribulation, as it teaches us to be more like Jesus.  Thank You, Lord.

 In His name,

 adguglielmo

On Peace and Patience

Dear Reader, 

I have been wanting to write since I posted my last message on Tuesday, but life always seems to get in the way. So I've had to exercise patience. Patience is a difficult fruit (Galatians 5:22, 23) to cultivate. I had a great opportunity to exercise it last week, and I chose not to. I started off thinking, When I get out of this one, I'll be able to encourage everyone with how patient I was.  I’ll be able to tell them how easy it is to turn to God when we're in a bind. Well, the latter part holds true...if we choose to turn to the Lord. Let me tell you about my day.

I clean out my rats' cage at least twice a week.  I bring the cage and the girls (Abigail and Fanny, for Tiffany) into the two-doored enclosure to the bathroom sink. I've been cleaning their cage in there for weeks, allowing the two to wander around curiously as I make their home a little less smelly. It's a small space, and after having mishaps with Abigail under the entertainment console in the living room and both of them behind the refrigerator, I figured there was no possible way for them to get into trouble in a tiny area. Well, a couple of weeks ago, Fanny discovered a small gap between the wall and the cabinet under the sink. So I laid out cornbread crumbs and quietly, patiently waited for her to come out. That ordeal lasted no more than half an hour, and since, I've been stuffing the holes on either side with hand towels. That seemed to work. 

And then Thursday happened. I started at 9:00am.  Everything was fine until just before I finished cleaning the cage. I had been watching the girls, but Fanny must have escaped my view just long enough to make her way back into the hole. So I put Abigail into her clean cage and decided on graham cracker crumbs as a lure this time. Well, it didn't work. Neither did baked apple. Or honey. Or peanut butter. I tried to use Abigail as a lure a couple of times, but Fanny would just poke her head out and then pop back up to whatever was so important up there.

This isn't just a cute story about my pets: It's about how I fell apart and didn't allow myself the peace of God that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7). All day, I went about my chores and errands and Bible study like a zombie. I could focus on an activity for a few minutes, and then I'd think of a more creative way to get Fanny out. So I'd spend another twenty minutes, thirty minutes, hour desperately trying to get my rat back in her cage. I felt sick with worry (that crevice seemed like a perfect home for a black widow), and I refused to listen to reason (and the Holy Spirit) telling me that she'd come out if I just left her alone. I tried! I'd leave the room for fifteen minutes and then poke my head in to see if that was enough. It wasn't. I wasted the whole day because I wasn't waiting on the Lord to answer my request to bring Fanny out safely. I wanted that prayer to be answered before it left my lips. 

I imagine if things had gone differently, I would've stayed out longer running my errands instead of dashing home to check on my pet. I don't think I would have been grouchy like I was when my husband came home. And I can bet I wouldn't have felt sick all day, because the peace of Christ would have been ruling in my heart (Colossians 3:15).

She did come out. It was 10:30pm, but she came out. Abigail got so excited when we reunited them, and my husband was happy to stop hearing about it from me. I can't tell you how relieved I was. Then I realized how differently things could have gone. Instead of ignoring the Spirit's attempts to quiet my worry and direct me toward God, I should have listened. How much easier those thirteen-and-a-half hours could have been! How silly I was.

I hope you find this tale amusing. I also hope you'll look to the Lord the next time your rat crawls into a hole in the wall. 

God bless,

adguglielmo

Marriage Full of Hope

Dear Reader, 

This morning, I had good fellowship with a friend from church.  When my husband and I got engaged, she stepped up and offered to help keep us organized.  Anyone who has planned a wedding (especially in a short time period) knows the importance of being organized.  I got to know her as we met to discuss our progress, and she got to know a very cranky version of me.  Still, she pressed on, and in spite of the near arrival of her grandson (he was delivered four days after the wedding), she helped us to and through our "big day."  Needless to say, I was grateful to be able to sit down and really talk for the first time after the wedding.

Today, she and her husband are celebrating their 30th anniversary.  Where I come from, exchanging the wrong glance warrants divorce.  It wasn't until I moved to San Jose and started attending Grace Bible Fellowship that I really got to know people who carry out long and successful marriages.  Of course, that was my aspiration (and now my commitment) as I dated my husband.  But toward the end of our engagement, fear crept in and I started wondering if I would be able to accomplish anything but the cycle of divorce that runs generations deep in my family.  I knew that when I got married, that would be that.  After, the choice couldn't be whether or not to stay, but whether to allow myself to be miserable through our future trials together, or whether to accept everything from God with thanksgiving  (Ecclesiastes 7:14).  Obviously, the fear subsided and I realized that the Lord had provided this man to be my husband.  And I was able to step forward and make my second biggest commitment (my first being to God). 

Today, Josh and I have been married for three months.  Small potatoes, I know.  But anyone who has celebrated a 30th, 40th or 50th anniversary started out with one month, one year, one decade.  I so look forward to all of the milestones my husband and I will share.  Unlike the secular world, I am able to say that my marriage and my commitment before God will not fail.  Because Josh and I united on the foundation of Christ with the Holy Spirit dwelling within each of us, we will be able to live out our vowed love for one another.  We will struggle through the trials set before us together.  We must!  What is the alternative?  I know I didn't have one in mind as I vowed to love, honor and submit to my husband, til death do us part. 

I am grateful for my friend's openness about her marriage and the trials they have pushed through.  I admire her strength and will to submit to her husband in spite of his many years without the Lord.  Praise Jesus for saving Him several years ago!  It sounds like we're both working on the same things in our marriages, which teaches me that Josh and I will never be perfect.  But oddly, it's very encouraging to hear that even though my friend has been married for so long, she and her husband are still working together to be better.  I pray that I never reach a state of complacency in my marriage; I pray that I will always make growing together toward Jesus and glorifying Him my utmost priority.  And while that means we are bound to face trials and growing pains, I hope I will stumble upon this message again in the midst of that tribulation, and that I will be encouraged by my current vigor. 

I hope to encourage you, as well.  Always feel free to leave comments and let me know what you're thinking.  I pray that the Lord blesses you in your marriage as He has blessed me.  Remember today that intense hope and love you felt on your wedding day, and may you carry that through to an act of love (a simple kiss on the cheek will suffice) toward your husband.     

God bless you,

adguglielmo