A Temple for God

"Do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own?  For you were bought at a price; therefore, glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God's"-1 Corinthians 6:19, 20.

Dear Reader,

My husband and I are competing to see who can lose eight pounds first.  So far, we've trudged through a level one "8 Minute Abs" video, and we haven't had dessert all week. 

The dedicated road to weight loss seems much easier together.  All my life, I've struggled with poor body image.  For years and years, I made my major goal losing weight.  I had academic, life and spiritual goals, too, but they never took first place.  Instead, I focused on my body.  With all of the effort and energy I expended, I should have gotten in shape and been satisfied.  However, I gained ten pounds one year, five pounds the next, and ten pounds more.  I was crushed.

I can't trace my battle with food back to a specific date, but I know some of my greatest struggles began at age 15.  First, I tried convincing myself that I didn't have to eat (what a glamorous life I could live at 80 pounds!).  I listed every crumb that I consumed, calculating fat grams and carbs.  At night, I would lie awake, budgeting calories for the next day.  Quartering portions made my head ache, from both over thinking and hunger.  By the end of the week, I would take my measurements and discover I had lost a couple of inches.  And then I would overeat.  I would try so hard not to eat  and then make up for all that I had deprived myself of during the week.  I would remeasure on Sunday and discover my bloated belly added a few inches to what I had to lose.  So on Monday, I would resume my "orderly" plan.

This sort of eating phased in and out throughout the years.  At times, it was replaced by fasting completely.  Other times, I ate more than several grown men could in a day.  Purging cycled through from the time I was 16.  Needless to say, I was out of control.

Until fairly recently, this struggle with food overshadowed everything else in life.  It consumed my mind, as drugs consume the mind of a user.  I wondered how much I could accomplish if I weren't always thinking about food and my figure.  I desperately wanted to stop abusing my body.  I reached out to the church for help.  I reached out to fellow believers online in chat rooms dedicated to encouraging healthy, godly lifestyles.  I attended a church recovery group for people once addicted to drugs and alcohol. I started seeing a Christian counselor.  I prayed constantly.  I meditated on verses like 1 Corinthians 10:31: "Whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all for the glory of God" (I thought that one was written just for me!).  But no matter what I did, I just couldn't stop. 

Here's the key: I wouldn't stop.  I had it wrong all those years.  Had I really believed 1 Corinthians 10:13 ("God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it"), I would have known that my actions could not be attributed to anyone but me.  Yes, the tempter tempted me very effectively.  Even when God's "way of escape" arrived crystal clear, I took things into my own hands and rejected His provision.  I repeatedly made the mistake of thinking that eating would make me feel better, even though I always felt worse afterward.  And the whole time, I kept wondering, Lord!  I'm praying for Your help!  Why aren't You helping me?    

I made two major discoveries.  The first, before I stopped abusing God's temple, was Colossians 3:1-3: "If then you were raised with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ is, sitting at the right hand of God.  Set your mind on the things above, not on things on the earth.  For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God."  Where had I set my mind?  Certainly not on my life with Christ in God!  In spite of all of my pleading prayers, my mind remained on the things on the earth (my body).  Though my heart greatly desired the ability to just eat like a normal person, without having to miss meals with family and friends because of a diet, and without blowing off events with those same people to sit at home overeating, I thought if I trusted the Lord to guide me to eat properly, I would never lose weight.  I couldn't get past my earthly body.

The period between abusing food and enjoying God's provision perplexes me.  Again, I can't point to a specific date and say, "I was healed this day!"  But I know the Lord used the building up of my relationship with my husband and his family to produce my new, healthy approach to eating.

An Old Testament verse explained away my confusion about why the Lord "wasn't helping me."  Isaiah 59:1,2 says: "Behold, the Lord's hand is not shortened, that it cannot save; nor His ear heavy, that it cannot hear.  But your iniquities have separated you from your God; and your sins have hidden His face from you, so that He will not hear."  Why didn't God remove my burden as soon as I prayed for help?  It's because my willful sin caused a separation between us that prevented Him from hearing my prayers.  I was disobedient and thought I knew what was best for me.  I continued to disregard the command to glorify God in my body.  How could He hear me when I continuously profaned what belonged to Him?

I praise the Lord for softening my heart and enabling me to seek the things above.  I am far more concerned with exercising myself toward godliness (1 Timothy 4:8) now that Satan's lies about food and my body have been dusted out of my head.  I mentioned the competition between my husband and I because I'm thankful to finally put weight loss in perspective.  Thinking about my physical flaws no longer fills up the day.  Instead of thinking about how to look more like Twiggy, I think about how to become more like Christ.  My husband will probably win the competition, and he will receive due reward.  But I'm just so thankful to be able to eat with a grateful heart!

Because this temptation and sin took up much of my life, I pray that God will use me to comfort those who are struggling, just as He has comforted me (2 Corinthians 1:4).  Let me know how I may be of service to you today.

God bless His children, 

adguglielmo

The Flawed Feminist Attitude

Dear Reader, 

 A few weeks ago, as I read more about some of the first textbook feminists (those who earned women the right to their wages and the right to vote), I became conflicted.  I had just proudly voted in the primaries, so I wondered how I could possibly condemn the women who fought for that right.  And where would I be, had I not been allowed to keep my wages?  How could I have afforded to move to San Jose before my husband and I became engaged?  How would I have paid for my apartment before we made the commitment to get married...and then live together?   

At the same time, I noticed a certain tone in modern people and publications.  In women, I found an air of significance and superiority.  I found an example of this in a statement about the rise in persecution of men, which was gleefully dismissed with something wicked like, "Oh, how the tables have turned."  In men, I discovered weakness and complacency regarding their roles as protectors of the family.  A Mercury News regular commended the new kick-butt girl movies hitting theaters ("The Hunger Games," "Snow White and the Huntsman," "Brave").  Then he went on to say that he would be the one wiping his wife's brow as she wielded a bow, complaining that he was tired of climbing up tall towers to save princesses.  What a backwards world we live in!

Our society no longer rears men but overflows with boys in the adult life.  It begins with the feminist attitude that says, "Anything you can do I can do better."  If that's the case, then why would a man provide for his family?  Woman can do it better, so let her!  Women can also pay for their own meals, drive their own cars and open up doors.  Really, what good are men?  

See the flawed feminist attitude? It's the key difference between those first noted "feminists" who were fighting to rightfully obtain equal treatment, and today's feminists, who are fighting to be better than everyone else.   For awhile, I wrestled with the knowledge that prior to the twentieth century, women were treated as lesser people.  For some reason, I couldn't comprehend that our society has not always been on a constant downward slope.  But I realized that there are peaks, as when our country liberated the slaves.  One of those peaks belongs to discovering the equality of men and women.  A steeper slope belongs to the idea that men and women were not created equally in the likeness of God. 

Most of my discovery has come from observing the world, talking with wise Christian women and knowing the Proverbs 31 woman had enough on her plate to make her equal, but not superior to a man (her husband was known at the gates, remember?).  I am thankful to live in place that recognizes equality, because I can't wait to vote in the presidential election this year (Your will be done, Lord).  But I'm still sad knowing the enemy's abundant perversion of truth, which encompasses today's feminism.  

I'm not sure why I began my study or what I expected to discover, but I am so grateful to the Lord for allowing me to understand.  I pray that you will understand, too, and that He will guide us to those who are lost, so that we may teach them His everlasting truth.  

What a journey...
adguglielmo   

The Effects of Feminism on Motherhood

Dear Reader, 

I’ve chosen a dangerously hot topic to study.  I’ve taken a lot of time to think about what I’m reading, as well as some time to talk to seasoned women in the church, and I think I’ve come near the end of what I thought would be a much longer research project.  I’m not finished with The Feminine Mystique, and I’ll keep reading, but I think just a few blog entries suffice to summarize the effects of feminism.  If the body or the book reveal something else to me, I’ll be sure to let you know. 

As I said, feminism is a hard topic to talk about, even in the church.  I note that especially in regard to my own generation, as the attitude toward having a family and raising children seems to have changed.  A chapter in The Feminine Mystique is devoted to relaying the author’s incredulous attitude toward the majority of women in the 1950s who followed their hearts’ desires and became wives and mothers.  They thought that was all they wanted.  But no, Betty Friedan reveals: They were wrong!  They were unsatisfied!  Once they achieved that ultimate purpose, they were left wondering, “Is this it?” 

I talked to my grandma about this.  She came of age in the 1950s and started a family of her own.  She said she didn’t know a single wife who fit the role of that stereotype we all know.  My grandma didn’t fill those shoes, either.  She was restless like everyone else Betty Friedan interviewed for her book.  I worried that this fact would prove contrary to the point I am trying to make, but then something stood out: My grandma wasn’t yet saved. 

I notice a detachment in people who aren’t walking with the Lord.  The hairdresser I last saw thought it was great that I’m at home now, but she said I’ll want to be far from it when I have children of my own.  Another woman at the bank relayed how tired she was from “babysitting” her son the previous day.  She had to watch him all day long!  My heart went out to that family.  Indicated at other points in the conversation, these women clearly weren’t saved.  The Lord must put something in His women in order to make them real, nurturing mothers.  Otherwise, we’re all just people floating alongside each other in this world, and one’s own is no different from another’s.   

Feminism has affected motherhood by telling women that they should be more.  I’ll admit, sometimes I fall under this false judgment, too, even before taking that leap.  This rampant, evil, unjust judgment condemns the hearts of those who are doing exactly what they are called to do.  It’s so sad to see this affect the lives of children who were brought into the world by no choice of their own. 
Being a mother is hard.  I do not speak from experience, but observation (and I am working to prepare myself for that prized position which I one day wish to hold).  I pray that you mothers will not feel the unnecessary guilt with which Satan weighs women down.  If you are a mother doing everything as unto the Lord, you are fulfilling the perfect role for you.  Don’t listen to the accuser who tells you that you aren’t enough.  What an undertaking being a full-time parent is!  And what an honor you are to the Lord. 

This is not meant to exclude those of you in the church who have the gift of singleness, those who have chosen not to have children or those who are employed single mothers.  If you’re following God’s plan for your life, you are an honor to Him, as well.  I am speaking for the faithful mothers because they are attacked by Satan through feminism.  Betty Friedan, a mother, does not condemn motherhood itself.  Rather, she discourages taking on motherhood as a full-time job, as a title, as a source of fulfillment.  But that’s just not fair to the women obedient to the Word who have made the decision to wholeheartedly raise their own families.  
      
You can see, if not live out, how difficult it is to be a full-time mom in a world that says, “Well, what else are you?”  Can you see how the feminist movement brought us here?  And can you see the sneaky role Satan has played behind the scenes of the movement that intended to exalt women? 
I pray that we will all remember to look at ourselves as God looks at us, not as the world looks at us.  As believers, we are promised persecution and tribulation.  But if we make it our mission to glorify Him in all things, we will overcome and be fulfilled (as much as we can be in our fallen state) by whatever life plan the Lord has laid out for us. 

May the Lord keep you,  
adguglielmo 

“There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit”-Romans 8:1.

Feminism

Dear Reader, 

One of my facebook friends posted someone's list of injustices done to men because of feminism.  It was an exhausting read because of the repetition, blanket statements and unbelievable statistics.  The list was clearly written in anger, and I just don't agree with most of it.

Wait a second...now you think I'm a feminist!  Well, the joke's on you.  Knowing what the Bible says about men and women prevents me from being getting caught in the riptide of feminism.  However, I am very curious about how the whole movement started.  I recently read in a history book that Betty Friedan's The Feminine Mystique (1963) served as the "Bible of the feminist movement."  I want to know what all of the fuss was about.  I ordered a copy (so that I can make my own notes and Scripture references in the margins), and it should be here tomorrow.  

One description of the book says: "Friedan maintained that the post-World War II emphasis on family forced women to think of themselves primarily as housewives and robbed them of much of their creative potential."  

So I wonder: Is every homemaker or stay-at-home mom robbed of her creative potential?  Or is she exactly where she should be in order to let her creativity blossom within the context of what the Lord calls her to do?  You may call me biased, because I love being at home.  I love impressing my husband by making our weekend mess sparkling clean.  The undeniable convenience of handling business affairs during business hours blesses us, as well.  I get to experiment in the kitchen; I don't have to rely on Hungry Man to feed my hungry man.  I take care of situations requiring immediate attention (if our flatware rusts and we need to find a new set, pronto, I can be at the department store scouring shelves the same day).  And I'm learning tricks to stretch a dollar (we make up for having one income in the Bay Area by my close eye on the budget).  

I also get to write to you about my experiences and my walk with the Lord. 

Then there are the stay-at-home moms, and they're in a league of their own.  I was a nanny and a preschool teacher for years, and while I learned some of the skills every mom at home needs, I don't believe I scratched the surface of what they do.  They're on-call 24/7; I got to go home at the end of the day, and I had weekends!  They do all of the things I do (and more) with a toddler crying at their feet.  A friend who gave birth to her second son four days after our wedding threw both my bridal shower and bachelorette party (did I mention her first son hit his "terrible twos" early?).  At what point wasn't she realizing her creative potential?

Now, tell me, should she go back to school and try to make it as a rocket scientist because having a  family robbed her of her creative potential?  I think she'd be pretty busy trying to fulfill all of her responsibilities at home with that added commitment; there would have to be sacrifice.  I mentioned that I worked in childcare for awhile.  While it was great to be employed by my natural instincts and to get attached to some sweet kids, knowing that some were there from the time the school opened to after closing time (that means over eleven hours) broke my heart.  And sometimes, a child would turn from obedience as soon as his parents walked through the door, craving attention and discipline from those responsible for him.  Children are the first to face sacrifice when a mom neglects her duties at home. 

But feminism dictates that fulfilling household and family duties isn't enough.  Women have cast each other down trying to bring each other up.  Now we face our duties at home in addition to maintaining full-fledged careers.  And when the men, tired from doing their own jobs, don't instinctively pitch in at home, resentment builds, and Satan fans the flame of hatred. 

I have a lot more to say, and once I begin reading The Feminine Mystique with my Bible next to me, I will share further insight.  To anyone reading, please don't take offense to what you think I may be implying; instead, think about what I've said.  This is a sensitive topic, especially for my generation, as we never experienced a time before "girl power."  There are many more issues to be addressed.  We'll get there. 

Blessings today and everyday,

adguglielmo

Proverbs 31:10-31

Whatever Things Are True

"Whatever things are true...think on these things"-Philippians 4:8.

Dear Reader, 

This week I started on the workbook for Loving God With All Your Mind by Elizabeth George.  A friend gave me the book and its corresponding study back in December.  I read a few chapters then, and it helped me realize all of the lies the enemy puts in our heads (as did The Screwtape Letters).  At the time, I needed to get over a hump, and just reading the first couple of chapters enabled me to do that.  Well, then came the final weeks before the wedding, then the honeymoon, then all of the settling...I just didn't pick it up for awhile.  I've had the intention, but I didn't make the commitment until the Lord brought the book into multiple conversations and Biblical messages last week.  

So I've been thinking about the first chapter all week.  It hones in on the verse above, and, let me tell you, exercising this command has proven unnatural.  That may appear to be a strong claim, but here's a little on just one of Satan's tactics that he has been using in my life:

He puts morbid scenarios in my head.  I've only told my husband about a few of them, but I have awful daydreams without realizing it.  I imagine a loved one dying, or an emergency situation (in a less than preparatory way).  I imagine being in a serious car crash, or an intruder marching through the door to take me captive.  I've always had a vivid imagination, and I found that writing my Barbie's stories in my head was always more fun than making her play them out.  But I've also had a lot of years of sudden emergency situations, and I think the devil has a hay day using my memory as a tool against me presently.  When I was growing up, I can't count the times that the police came out to my house.  The call would come from a family member, a neighbor or myself.  And these things would happen in the middle of the night as likely as they would in the middle of the day (it was never safe).  I would be asleep and have school or work the next morning, and explosive yelling would ring out.  One of the most dangerous times was only a couple of years ago, before my mom separated from her husband.  It seemed like something happened every day or night.  I carried my cell phone everywhere, including into the bathroom.  I tried to shower quickly so I would hear a fight start and be prepared for whatever happened next.  I slept in clothes I thought I could run in, if I had to.  

Now I sleep soundly next to my husband, knowing I'm safe.  I sleep in the arms of the Lord, confiding, "What can man do to me?" (Psalm 118:6).  

But the enemy knows what happened for all those years, and before I've been able to remember to think on whatever things are true, new wicked scenarios and untruthful images run through my head.  Sometimes they're upsetting, and other times, I am numb because of how frantic my life once was.  But I know they come from the evil one.  

This book is a perfect, necessary read for anyone who has experienced trauma.  We get swept up in our thinking before we know it's all lies.  But we're not allowed to do that.  The Lord commands us to take every thought captive and put it under the obedience of Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5).  As He instructs us in Philippians 4:8 to think on eight virtues, He instructs us not to think on what opposes those virtues.  So we disobey God when we give in to thinking about things untrue?  Yes.  Like I said, especially for people who have undergone some form of abuse, it seems unnatural to think on what is true instead of our anxieties (powered by Satan), which direct our thoughts.  But it's unnatural to do any of the things the Lord commands us to do when we're in our flesh.  That's why we need to ask the Lord to help us to take our thoughts captive.  We need to ask Him to transform us by the renewing of our minds (Romans 12:2).  I looked up the Greek for "renewing" in Vine's Expository Dictionary of Biblical Words, and came up with the word anakainosis, meaning "a renewal," which "stresses the willing response on the part of the believer."  This means it will be work.  We can't change our lifetime patterns of thought overnight.  But with the Holy Spirit working inside of us, we can think on the truth and leave Satan's lies in the dust.

Lord, I pray for forgiveness, because though I know what Your Word calls me to think on, I have forgotten and allowed my mind to run free when my thoughts ought to be captive.  Help me to take them captive, that they may be under Your authority, Jesus.  Help others who have been touched with trauma, that they may see that Your truths conquer the enemy's lies.  Direct us to Your Word when the liar starts speaking.  I pray that we will learn to always turn to You.  Amen.

I hope my anecdotes are helpful.  I don't feel sadness or anger when I relay them to you because I have forgiven those who created that past, and also because I long for the Lord to put to use that tribulation.  I want to comfort you as He comforted me (2 Corinthians 1:4), because He allowed the affliction for your benefit (verse 6).  

The Lord bless us and guide us together, 

adguglielmo          

On Peace and Patience

Dear Reader, 

I have been wanting to write since I posted my last message on Tuesday, but life always seems to get in the way. So I've had to exercise patience. Patience is a difficult fruit (Galatians 5:22, 23) to cultivate. I had a great opportunity to exercise it last week, and I chose not to. I started off thinking, When I get out of this one, I'll be able to encourage everyone with how patient I was.  I’ll be able to tell them how easy it is to turn to God when we're in a bind. Well, the latter part holds true...if we choose to turn to the Lord. Let me tell you about my day.

I clean out my rats' cage at least twice a week.  I bring the cage and the girls (Abigail and Fanny, for Tiffany) into the two-doored enclosure to the bathroom sink. I've been cleaning their cage in there for weeks, allowing the two to wander around curiously as I make their home a little less smelly. It's a small space, and after having mishaps with Abigail under the entertainment console in the living room and both of them behind the refrigerator, I figured there was no possible way for them to get into trouble in a tiny area. Well, a couple of weeks ago, Fanny discovered a small gap between the wall and the cabinet under the sink. So I laid out cornbread crumbs and quietly, patiently waited for her to come out. That ordeal lasted no more than half an hour, and since, I've been stuffing the holes on either side with hand towels. That seemed to work. 

And then Thursday happened. I started at 9:00am.  Everything was fine until just before I finished cleaning the cage. I had been watching the girls, but Fanny must have escaped my view just long enough to make her way back into the hole. So I put Abigail into her clean cage and decided on graham cracker crumbs as a lure this time. Well, it didn't work. Neither did baked apple. Or honey. Or peanut butter. I tried to use Abigail as a lure a couple of times, but Fanny would just poke her head out and then pop back up to whatever was so important up there.

This isn't just a cute story about my pets: It's about how I fell apart and didn't allow myself the peace of God that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7). All day, I went about my chores and errands and Bible study like a zombie. I could focus on an activity for a few minutes, and then I'd think of a more creative way to get Fanny out. So I'd spend another twenty minutes, thirty minutes, hour desperately trying to get my rat back in her cage. I felt sick with worry (that crevice seemed like a perfect home for a black widow), and I refused to listen to reason (and the Holy Spirit) telling me that she'd come out if I just left her alone. I tried! I'd leave the room for fifteen minutes and then poke my head in to see if that was enough. It wasn't. I wasted the whole day because I wasn't waiting on the Lord to answer my request to bring Fanny out safely. I wanted that prayer to be answered before it left my lips. 

I imagine if things had gone differently, I would've stayed out longer running my errands instead of dashing home to check on my pet. I don't think I would have been grouchy like I was when my husband came home. And I can bet I wouldn't have felt sick all day, because the peace of Christ would have been ruling in my heart (Colossians 3:15).

She did come out. It was 10:30pm, but she came out. Abigail got so excited when we reunited them, and my husband was happy to stop hearing about it from me. I can't tell you how relieved I was. Then I realized how differently things could have gone. Instead of ignoring the Spirit's attempts to quiet my worry and direct me toward God, I should have listened. How much easier those thirteen-and-a-half hours could have been! How silly I was.

I hope you find this tale amusing. I also hope you'll look to the Lord the next time your rat crawls into a hole in the wall. 

God bless,

adguglielmo

Our Speech

"Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt..."-Colossians 4:6.

I just finished up the last lesson of my Colossians precept study.  I had never even heard of Precept Ministries before I signed up for the class.  But I had just been let down by the closure of the Christian university I had my eye on, so when I heard the class required a lot of homework, I, interestingly enough, couldn't wait to start.  My husband and I got engaged the weekend before the first class, and as we planned our wedding in three months, I didn't put as much effort into the study as I had hoped to.  However, I still yielded the great results of increased knowledge of the Word, as well as a more humble attitude before the Lord. 

This last day of study focused on our speaking to unbelievers.  Lately, I have been thinking about my speech.  If someone whom I don't know were to drop in on a conversation between my husband and I, between another saint and I, or between my mom and I, would he know that I follow Christ?  What if I didn't mention Christ at all?  Would there still be a chance that I would be set apart for my wholesome speaking? 

My guess is no.  Lately, the Lord has put it on my heart to watch the things that I say.  I don't mean curse words in particular, because those seem easy enough to avoid (I would certainly disagree if I were still in high school; thank You Jesus, for growing me every day).  I'm talking about content, the subject material of my conversations.  Are the things I say worthy of reaching the ears of my Father?  No, not always.  I think I've had a few conversations this week that the Lord heard and was pleased by.  But I know I've also had conversations in which words tumble out of my mouth before I can catch them, or worse, I speak in spite of the Holy Spirit's instruction to be quiet.  I cringe thinking about both of these, knowing that I can do better. 

For me, the struggle is a heart attitude.  What I have in my heart is revealed in my speaking.  If I have a bad attitude about something, it will inevitably show in my choice of words.  My first instinct is to wish that I could just keep it to myself.  But I know if I did, I would be without physical evidence of my heart issue, and likely hang on to it rather than address and demolish it.  I didn't understand this until I started writing. 

I asked my husband a few days ago what it means when he prays for the Lord to bless our conversation.  He asks this nearly every time we pray, but I never questioned what he meant by it until Tuesday.  He prays this so that our conversation will be glorifying to God, as I thought, but it wasn't until I heard those words that I felt convicted.  Is what I say glorifying to you, Lord?  I want all of my words to be seasoned with salt.  I want them to be flavored with the language of Your Word to bring glory to You and to teach others who You are and who Your people are called to be.  

In Ephesians 4:29, we read: "Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers."  This is similar to the verse from Colossians above, which is preceded by this: "Conduct yourself with wisdom toward outsiders, making the most of the opportunity" (Colossians 4:5).  As believers, we have the responsibility of letting Christ reveal Himself in our actions and in our speaking.  And as you know, that is a really hard thing to do.  So I pray, Father, that You remind others as You reminded me that our speech is a way to glorify and honor You.  Bind the enemy who longs to push forth his thoughts from our mouths.  Let us speak only according to what You have revealed to us through Your Word.  Amen. 

Have a blessed weekend of wholesome speaking,

adguglielmo

On Forgiveness

"You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you begged me. Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?"-Matthew 28:32, 33

Part of my Bible study homework focused my attention on forgiveness this week. After I looked up the directed Scripture reading, I came to the next question, which asked, "Now, are you going to forgive?"

What I have to forgive in others is great. I was born out of wedlock, and I didn't meet my father until I was 19 years old (my mom gave birth to me at the same age). My mom's first marriage was short and nearly unmemorable, as I was only about two when they married and divorced. Around that time, you'll find John, the man I called "dad" throughout my childhood. But he didn't fill the role very well: Once he moved my mom and I away from all of our family, he proceeded to beat us. They had already brought my first sister into the world, but she remained untouched. John's attention stayed on me. Every move I made, every word I spoke came under harsh judgment followed by abusive punishment. Sometimes my mom would intervene. Sometimes she couldn't bear to believe what I told her. She never understood why, as I got older, I grew angry with her for the abuse John inflicted on me. Years passed, two more sisters were born, and the abuse continued. After several reports of John's crime, he nearly ceased to harm me physically. But how much worse was the emotional abuse. I spent such a long time trying to pacify my anguish by hurting myself. I started cutting when I was 12. I spent many years trying to gain control by overeating or under eating, or by not eating at all. My mom saw what was happening, but what could she do? Her life wasn't exactly together. But she reached the end of her wit with John two years ago, that summer he shattered the glass back door of our SUV over her arm. She obtained a restraining order, and he couldn’t come near my family.

My mom and I fought so much after that. She didn't understand why, after my years of pleading for her to leave him, I wasn't satisfied. Because I was grown! I was moving out of state two weeks later! Why hadn't she gathered her senses sooner? I would never get to be a happy child.

Let me tell you something: I am a happy child! The Lord is my Father, and He has fathered me well. He is gentle and caring and always listening to what I need...and then He provides for me. He comforts me when sorrow fills my heart. He encourages and strengthens me to do His bidding. There is no shortage of love from my Father, and I am the happiest a daughter could be. And to have His grace! Oh, how it abounds. I am sinful and in desperate need of forgiveness, and He forgives me. How, then, can my heart remain in unforgiveness for others?

"Now, are you going to forgive?"

Yes. I forgive you, John. I have an uplifted heart, and I am not burdened by your misdeed anymore. Please come to know the grace of God yourself. And Mom, I forgive you, too. It was a slower forgiveness, but it came through growth in the Lord. Thank you for seeking our Father. Now we're sisters in Christ! Although I know neither of you will ever read this, you will come to know my forgiveness.

It took much longer to forgive than to write this to you. I pray that the Lord will soften your heart sooner than I allowed Him to soften mine. Remember what Jesus taught in Matthew 6:14 and 15: "If you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."

Now, are you going to forgive?

Screwtape and I, Chapter Five

I don’t know much about war, but that it results from sin, and therefore seems a playing field for Satan. However, in this chapter, Screwtape urges Wormwood not to become too excited over the approaching World War II. He tells his nephew that war draws people to think of death, taking away from “contented worldliness,” which the devil works to cultivate in people in order to gain followers. If we’re content here, what vision of the future could we possibly wish for? Will our eyes be set on the things above if we’re living for the perpetuation of the earth?

 Again with that distraction! I’m coming to see what a powerful tool it is. Back in chapter four, Screwtape writes, “It’s funny how mortals always picture us as putting things into their minds; in reality our best work is done by keeping things out.” If we don’t know the truth of eternity, what else could we live for but each day? War brings to mind the possibility of the end of a life. Whether you’re thinking about yourself or your spouse or your brother, you’re enabled to see life’s frailty (this life’s frailty). But the devil doesn’t want us to think about that! He wants us to seek every pleasure to our fulfillment, having no vision of consequence. But when we seek those pleasures, we are never fulfilled. We will not be satisfied until we reach eternity with the Triune God (Ecclesiastes 3:11).

While it seems that war would be the devil’s ultimate tool to drag people to hell, God works even in the utmost evil. Because war opens eyes to the potential of death, we have to address the inevitable question of the afterlife. Where are you going to go? Let’s think like those in combat, and ask the biggest question of life: Where will you be once this short life is over and we begin in eternity? Where will our friends and our families be? While it is truly up to God who is written in the Book of Life (Revelation 3:5), it is our responsibility to ask the question. It’s not something worth waiting for. As those who face the very real potential of death in war, we need to ask, Where am I going? and Where are you going? Let’s not allow Satan to withhold things from our minds. Yes, it seems as though there’s always tomorrow to ask your friend where she’ll be in eternity, but that may not be true. Give her a chance while she still has one. Pray with me today that we will have the courage to ask others the most important question they will every answer. Do not fear the reaction of man more than the fate of their eternal lives. Let’s stand together in our evangelization!
God bless,
adguglielmo

Screwtape and I, Chapter Four

In Screwtape’s next letter, he encourages Wormwood to drive praying for a feeling into his patient.  Screwtape writes, “When they meant to pray for courage, let them really be trying to feel brave.  When they say they are praying for forgiveness, let them be trying to feel forgiven.  Teach them to estimate the value of each prayer by their success in producing the desired feeling.”  Have you ever done this?  Have you ever felt heavy laden with sin, turned to God in repentance, and still felt guilty?  Did that continued guilt seemingly indicate a failed prayer and unforgiveness from the Father?

We well know that Satan is the father of lies (John 8:44).  Have we thought about how he tries to enter our prayer life with these lies?  If he can’t prevent us from praying, he will try to push his way into our conversations with God by encouraging us to pray the wrong way.  When we pray for forgiveness, we want our sin to be wiped clean, but our human nature calls for that pacifying feeling in order to know that we’ve been forgiven.  The truth is, though, whether we continue in guilt or we feel that our sin has been washed, if our hearts truly repent, we have been forgiven.  Sometimes I am glad to quickly move away from my sin, and other times, the guilt lingers.  But that lasting feeling that I’ve done wrong serves the purpose of reminding me not to do it again.  

Speaking from my own walk, I think sometimes Satan has an easy time of focusing our attention inward on our emotions.  He teaches us to think of our present state of mind as “reality,” calling us to focus in on whatever we feel at present, tricking us into seeing only a brief moment in time rather than the whole picture.  When we think thusly, we don’t always see impending consequences for what we say and do in these moments.  Do you find yourself reflecting on the devil’s strategy, only to fall into the easy snare the next time you’re upset?  I do.  After an argument or a short temper, once some resolution is made, I feel so silly!  Tricked into believing in feelings again.  That’s not to say I don’t believe in the value of emotion.  The Lord created us to emote and connect with others because of feelings in common.  However, feelings leave us, and the Truth doesn’t.  Remember this.

Keeping the perspective of what feelings are in relation to everything else will help us stand against the devil when he tells us our prayer is ineffective because we don’t feel better.  Remember, he doesn’t want you to pray.  He wants you to think that your prayers mean nothing so that you will stop praying.  But don’t stop!  Don’t stop, even when you think God can’t hear a thing.  He hears everything, and He wants to hear more.  Please don’t be deceived.  Pray with me today that we will keep praying in spite of how we feel when we pray.  Pray that we will be able to keep our emotions in perspective, and always see beyond to God’s true Word.  

God bless you today and every day, 

adguglielmo

Screwtape and I, Chapter Three

The third chapter addresses “domestic hatred.”  A common phrase denotes this equal-opportunity attack: “Familiarity breeds contempt.”  In households lacking Christ, this often leads to a ripping apart of husband and wife, toppling what was not built on a firm foundation.  Or we end up living at odds with our natural family, picking apart tiny offenses.  Screwtape encourages Wormwood to focus his “patient’s” attention on those annoying habits his mother has, teaching him to believe that she does them to spite him.  

I can say I’ve easily fallen into this trap.  My sister keeps singing that song she knows I hate!  My mom knows it bugs me when she doesn’t answer her phone, but she never seems to pick up when I call!  These seemingly harmless actions can turn a family upside down for a time.  How silly it is to think so highly of ourselves that everything everyone does has anything to do with us.

The enemy can wreak havoc on a family, if we let him.  The difference between a marriage of believers and a marriage of non-believers is the foundation (whether one exists or not).  Those who marry under God have the foundation beginning with the chief cornerstone (Psalm 118:22).  At times, it may seem like there’s nothing they can agree on.  But then they’ll agree on Christ!  And if Christ is the agreement, everything is settled.  Unfortunately for a couple who doesn’t believe, there may be a time when there’s nothing they can agree on, and that’s where it ends.  There’s no Mediator or commonality between them.  

“Familiarity breeds contempt,” but the Lord Jesus Christ triumphs beyond selfishness and human nature.  Scripture commands us to “be angry, and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on [our] wrath” (Ephesians 4:26).  While sinful people grate on sinful people (therefore binding us to some annoyance resulting from our sinners surrounding), we are told to resolve our conflicts before the day passes.  When we take our time to forgive or ask for forgiveness, we give the devil a longer deception period.  He wants us to have time to think so that he can inject his own thoughts, sometimes slyly enough for us to believe they belong to our minds.  When my husband sees a conflict forming, he immediately wants to resolve it.  It takes me a little bit longer.  My natural family was never quick to address issues, so I carried that with me.  But I so appreciate my husband’s diligence in not allowing the enemy any time to warp our thoughts.  When I look back on family arguments lasting any time span, I can see where the enemy took the liberty of including his paragraphs in our speech.  Often, the original conflict got lost in Satan’s injections. 

As believers, we don’t want to give place to the enemy in our lives, but he’s very good at creeping in, especially into a family.  He wants to tear us apart.  He wants to deceive us into thinking that we are, in fact, fighting flesh and blood (contrary to Ephesians 6:12).  But we must realize that, yes, our family of sinners will do something to make us angry.  It’s best to catch this at the beginning of an annoyance, realizing that Christ’s followers are too distracted by Him to be doing anything to intentionally bother us.  If the annoyance gives way to open conflict, be aware of the devil’s purpose (go back to 1 Peter 5:8).  Don’t let too much time pass before you remember.

Pray today that we may remember our family is made up of sinners, including you and me.  Pray that we may get to a place of repentance quickly if we offend our sister; pray that our heart easily forgives our brother for his offence.  Let’s walk humbly before the One who humbled Himself on the cross.

In His name,

adguglielmo     

Screwtape and I, Chapter Two

The second chapter of The Screwtape Letters brings to light our need for humility in regard to the church.  Mr. Lewis uses Screwtape’s guidance of Wormwood to call into question our thoughts about fellow Christians.  I know that my thoughts have been turned away from the Word being preached in the pulpit by each of these: What I think is inappropriate clothing to wear to church; voices singing out of tune; the breath of the person sitting next to me; that weak handshake; that lack of note-taking; the Starbucks cup of the attendee who walked in late…the list continues.  Oh, how easy it is to be of a raised mind!

But we’re called to “esteem others better” than ourselves (Philippians 2:3).  However, we know very well, because of our fallen thoughts toward our brothers and sisters, that Satan does not want us to consider others better.  Satan’s division starts in the minds of men.  Once he gains a foothold and is able to control our thoughts toward the people of the congregation, he can dictate our thoughts about the Church, which would, at its worst, determine our thoughts about the Lord (if we despise the Bride, how highly do we think of the Groom?).

As in “Letters,” a romantic notion of what the church body ought to look like can distract and discourage us.  The unnamed temptee finds himself subconsciously disappointed by the common garb of believers when he first goes to church.  I have found myself not only distracted by clothing I deem inappropriate to wear to church, but also by clothing I find exactly appropriate.  I have looked at an unknown member of the Body in admiration because of her pristine dress, and formed an ideal of a Christian woman based on that appearance.  How fleeting these wicked thoughts are, but they are present.

Reading this novel brought to my attention the countless lies that stream through my subconscious every day.  Because hatred and sin begin in the mind, we must bring all of our thoughts captive in the obedience of Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5).  Humility is defined as humbleness of mind (Greek: tapeinophrosune), a mind in which we cannot exalt ourselves above the Saints.  I pray that today we are able to see not the faults of the sinners whom we abide with, but that we see the sins of our flesh, praising God for His grace.  I pray that we ask God for humility of mind, taking each thought captive, growing in the ability to visualize the beauty of the Bride.  We are the Bride!  Praise the Lord for our journey toward glory and perfection. 

In His name,
adguglielmo

Screwtape and I, Chapter One

In the first chapter of the C.S. Lewis novel The Screwtape Letters, Uncle Screwtape, a seasoned tempter, begins his guidance of his novice demon nephew, Wormwood.  Wormwood’s mission is to keep his “patient” out of the Kingdom of Heaven by way of seducing him toward the destructive and away from the spiritually beneficial.  The first mention of this man being led astray amounts to Wormwood’s guidance of his reading.  

What can we say about our reading?  What about our TV consumption?  Are we under the influence of a Wormwood when we seek entertainment?  Before I dedicated my life to Christ, I had a great taste for teen and gossip magazines.  In fact, I had fantasies about moving to New York City and writing for one of them.  It all seemed so glamorous.  But now I think about how the material influenced me, and I look regretfully at the past before I knew Jesus.  Satan wants our minds to be full of the words of men and not the Word of God.  The enemy knows the truth of his inevitable defeat, but he doesn’t want us to know that we’re coming with him if we don’t accept the Truth.  So he distracts us with the shiny objects of entertainment.  

After I became a Christian, my grandma asked me how I could still watch horror movies.  I had always been a fan, and that didn’t change with my dedication to Christ.  Nearly five years later, I don’t even want to think about them.  If a commercial comes on advertising the latest thrasher, I have to turn it off.  I’ve even had to turn off my radio because of an ad.  While there were some things I was glad to throw off my old self, most of it was-is-a process.  And of course it is when Screwtape stands at the ready for an opportunity to consume us!  Very occasionally, I’ll suggest to my husband that we watch a scary movie.  That scares me most because I know that urge didn’t come from me.

The Word tells us to set our minds on the things above, not on the things on the earth (Colossians 3:1).  This is in order to avoid temptation (if we see the treasures of heaven, what heart remains on this earth?).  The Scripture continues to say “you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God” (3:3).  If our life is in Christ and not here, what value are the things of this world?  

The enemy tempts us with wicked forms of entertainment because it’s so available.  It’s common to want to see that box office hit rated R for strong sexuality and crude language because, well, everyone else saw it.  But be aware of Screwtape and his nephew behind that desire.  Remember that Jesus did instruct us to “pray, lest [we] enter into temptation” (Matthew 26:41).  He knows that Satan prowls “like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour” (1 Peter 5:8).  So today, pray with me to avoid temptation.  Let’s acknowledge that we are not left alone with our thoughts, but that Satan’s minions await an opportunity to take our human desires and put them to work for his kingdom.  But be of good cheer!  Jesus has overcome the world.

In His name,

adguglielmo