The third chapter addresses “domestic hatred.” A common phrase denotes this
equal-opportunity attack: “Familiarity breeds contempt.” In households lacking Christ, this often
leads to a ripping apart of husband and wife, toppling what was not built on a
firm foundation. Or we end up living at
odds with our natural family, picking apart tiny offenses. Screwtape encourages Wormwood to focus his “patient’s”
attention on those annoying habits his mother has, teaching him to believe that
she does them to spite him.
I can say I’ve easily fallen into this trap. My sister keeps singing that song she knows I
hate! My mom knows it bugs me when she
doesn’t answer her phone, but she never seems to pick up when I call! These seemingly harmless actions can turn a
family upside down for a time. How silly
it is to think so highly of ourselves that everything everyone does has anything
to do with us.
The enemy can wreak havoc on a family, if we let
him. The difference between a marriage
of believers and a marriage of non-believers is the foundation (whether one
exists or not). Those who marry under
God have the foundation beginning with the chief cornerstone (Psalm 118:22). At times, it may seem like there’s nothing
they can agree on. But then they’ll
agree on Christ! And if Christ is the
agreement, everything is settled.
Unfortunately for a couple who doesn’t believe, there may be a time when
there’s nothing they can agree on, and that’s where it ends. There’s no Mediator or commonality between
them.
“Familiarity breeds contempt,” but the Lord Jesus
Christ triumphs beyond selfishness and human nature. Scripture commands us to “be angry, and do
not sin; do not let the sun go down on [our] wrath” (Ephesians 4:26). While sinful people grate on sinful people (therefore
binding us to some annoyance resulting from our sinners surrounding), we are told
to resolve our conflicts before the day passes.
When we take our time to forgive or ask for forgiveness, we give the devil
a longer deception period. He wants us
to have time to think so that he can inject his own thoughts, sometimes slyly
enough for us to believe they belong to our minds. When my husband sees a conflict forming, he
immediately wants to resolve it. It takes
me a little bit longer. My natural
family was never quick to address issues, so I carried that with me. But I so appreciate my husband’s diligence in
not allowing the enemy any time to warp our thoughts. When I look back on family arguments lasting
any time span, I can see where the enemy took the liberty of including his
paragraphs in our speech. Often, the
original conflict got lost in Satan’s injections.
As believers, we don’t want to give place to the
enemy in our lives, but he’s very good at creeping in, especially into a
family. He wants to tear us apart. He wants to deceive us into thinking that we
are, in fact, fighting flesh and blood (contrary to Ephesians 6:12). But we must realize that, yes, our family of
sinners will do something to make us angry.
It’s best to catch this at the beginning of an annoyance, realizing that
Christ’s followers are too distracted by Him to be doing anything to
intentionally bother us. If the annoyance
gives way to open conflict, be aware of the devil’s purpose (go back to 1 Peter
5:8). Don’t let too much time pass
before you remember.
Pray today that we may remember our family is made
up of sinners, including you and me.
Pray that we may get to a place of repentance quickly if we offend our
sister; pray that our heart easily forgives our brother for his offence. Let’s walk humbly before the One who humbled
Himself on the cross.
In His name,
adguglielmo
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