A Temple for God

"Do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own?  For you were bought at a price; therefore, glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God's"-1 Corinthians 6:19, 20.

Dear Reader,

My husband and I are competing to see who can lose eight pounds first.  So far, we've trudged through a level one "8 Minute Abs" video, and we haven't had dessert all week. 

The dedicated road to weight loss seems much easier together.  All my life, I've struggled with poor body image.  For years and years, I made my major goal losing weight.  I had academic, life and spiritual goals, too, but they never took first place.  Instead, I focused on my body.  With all of the effort and energy I expended, I should have gotten in shape and been satisfied.  However, I gained ten pounds one year, five pounds the next, and ten pounds more.  I was crushed.

I can't trace my battle with food back to a specific date, but I know some of my greatest struggles began at age 15.  First, I tried convincing myself that I didn't have to eat (what a glamorous life I could live at 80 pounds!).  I listed every crumb that I consumed, calculating fat grams and carbs.  At night, I would lie awake, budgeting calories for the next day.  Quartering portions made my head ache, from both over thinking and hunger.  By the end of the week, I would take my measurements and discover I had lost a couple of inches.  And then I would overeat.  I would try so hard not to eat  and then make up for all that I had deprived myself of during the week.  I would remeasure on Sunday and discover my bloated belly added a few inches to what I had to lose.  So on Monday, I would resume my "orderly" plan.

This sort of eating phased in and out throughout the years.  At times, it was replaced by fasting completely.  Other times, I ate more than several grown men could in a day.  Purging cycled through from the time I was 16.  Needless to say, I was out of control.

Until fairly recently, this struggle with food overshadowed everything else in life.  It consumed my mind, as drugs consume the mind of a user.  I wondered how much I could accomplish if I weren't always thinking about food and my figure.  I desperately wanted to stop abusing my body.  I reached out to the church for help.  I reached out to fellow believers online in chat rooms dedicated to encouraging healthy, godly lifestyles.  I attended a church recovery group for people once addicted to drugs and alcohol. I started seeing a Christian counselor.  I prayed constantly.  I meditated on verses like 1 Corinthians 10:31: "Whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all for the glory of God" (I thought that one was written just for me!).  But no matter what I did, I just couldn't stop. 

Here's the key: I wouldn't stop.  I had it wrong all those years.  Had I really believed 1 Corinthians 10:13 ("God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it"), I would have known that my actions could not be attributed to anyone but me.  Yes, the tempter tempted me very effectively.  Even when God's "way of escape" arrived crystal clear, I took things into my own hands and rejected His provision.  I repeatedly made the mistake of thinking that eating would make me feel better, even though I always felt worse afterward.  And the whole time, I kept wondering, Lord!  I'm praying for Your help!  Why aren't You helping me?    

I made two major discoveries.  The first, before I stopped abusing God's temple, was Colossians 3:1-3: "If then you were raised with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ is, sitting at the right hand of God.  Set your mind on the things above, not on things on the earth.  For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God."  Where had I set my mind?  Certainly not on my life with Christ in God!  In spite of all of my pleading prayers, my mind remained on the things on the earth (my body).  Though my heart greatly desired the ability to just eat like a normal person, without having to miss meals with family and friends because of a diet, and without blowing off events with those same people to sit at home overeating, I thought if I trusted the Lord to guide me to eat properly, I would never lose weight.  I couldn't get past my earthly body.

The period between abusing food and enjoying God's provision perplexes me.  Again, I can't point to a specific date and say, "I was healed this day!"  But I know the Lord used the building up of my relationship with my husband and his family to produce my new, healthy approach to eating.

An Old Testament verse explained away my confusion about why the Lord "wasn't helping me."  Isaiah 59:1,2 says: "Behold, the Lord's hand is not shortened, that it cannot save; nor His ear heavy, that it cannot hear.  But your iniquities have separated you from your God; and your sins have hidden His face from you, so that He will not hear."  Why didn't God remove my burden as soon as I prayed for help?  It's because my willful sin caused a separation between us that prevented Him from hearing my prayers.  I was disobedient and thought I knew what was best for me.  I continued to disregard the command to glorify God in my body.  How could He hear me when I continuously profaned what belonged to Him?

I praise the Lord for softening my heart and enabling me to seek the things above.  I am far more concerned with exercising myself toward godliness (1 Timothy 4:8) now that Satan's lies about food and my body have been dusted out of my head.  I mentioned the competition between my husband and I because I'm thankful to finally put weight loss in perspective.  Thinking about my physical flaws no longer fills up the day.  Instead of thinking about how to look more like Twiggy, I think about how to become more like Christ.  My husband will probably win the competition, and he will receive due reward.  But I'm just so thankful to be able to eat with a grateful heart!

Because this temptation and sin took up much of my life, I pray that God will use me to comfort those who are struggling, just as He has comforted me (2 Corinthians 1:4).  Let me know how I may be of service to you today.

God bless His children, 

adguglielmo

On Forgiveness, Part Two

"Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth"-Colossians 3:2.

Last year as I was working my way toward marriage, I thought it would be a good idea to see a Christian counselor.  I knew the importance of preparing for such a permanent life choice because I had seen the results of what happens otherwise.  I wanted to get over my "coping mechanisms" and learn to be at peace in Christ, so I went on a hunt for someone who taught Biblical principles and instruction as a method of healing from abuse.  I didn't want anyone to tell me, "You look great!  I can't believe you overeat" (which was a similar response from the first counselor I saw), or "I'm impressed by you.  You've really overcome your tribulation" (which I've heard from people who view the choices I've made as petty in comparison to what some do as a result of abuse).  I wanted to tell someone exactly what kind of a sinner I was, and I wanted to hear what the Bible had to say about that. 

It only took two consultations before I found my guy.  He was a pastor for nearly a decade, had a counseling practice for over two decades, and a wife for even longer than that.  He had eight children (the youngest being my age), and when we weren't talking about me, we were talking about his kids.  I appreciated his emphasis on family, as that is what I couldn't wait to build.  So we met and talked for about three months.

I promised myself that I would be completely honest.  I truly wanted to "heal" and move away from the resentment I had built up over the years.  I didn't want to start a family on the foundation I had grown up with, but on the foundation of Christ.  We looked up a lot of Scripture, and I was assigned a lot of homework.  It started with dissecting Bible verses, but it turned into a lot of writing about events from the past.  I had always liked journaling, so I had plenty of records.  But the point wasn't to disclose to my counselor what had happened.  The purpose was to draw out my feelings about my family and the hurt I felt by the choices my parents made.  I have documents called "10 Things Being Robbed Of My Childhood Did To Me" and "List of Ouchies" (literally a compiled list of all the wrongs my parents had ever done that affected me.  Well, I had started with my mom, and by the time I was finished, I was too exhausted and upset to attempt to think about what John had done). 

This is where we went wrong. 

When I moved to San Jose last summer, part of me thought I had left all of my troubles behind.  My counselor had warned me that would not be the case, but I couldn't imagine carrying all of my baggage with me.  In reality, I just couldn't blame my family for my actions anymore, because they were all of 682 miles away. 

I started going to a Bible study a couple months after the move, and that's when I heard the truth I needed to hear.  Colossians 3:1,2 directed me to Christ rather than myself.  The chapter continues, "For you died, and your life is hidden with God in Christ" (v.3).  What does this mean?  I am not to go on dissecting this life, because it isn't my true life.  I am not to be inward-focused on how my parents made me feel.  When my counselor had me do these activities, I couldn't figure out why "letting myself feel" didn't stop me from hurting myself anyway.  I would cry during our session, but they weren't healing tears.  Rather, they turned to hot anger the next time my mom and I spoke, preventing my heart from forgiving. 

I praise the Lord for opening my eyes to His Word.  Oh, how opening my Bible has opened me to true life with God in heaven!  I couldn't have forgiven if my thoughts had remained on my hurt.  But knowing what Christ has done for me, finally having the eyes to see it relate to everything, has allowed me to forgive.  Praise the Lord! 

People can't heal people.  God heals people.  He does it in different ways, through different Scripture and experience and study.  I thought I had done everything I could possibly do to heal, and I felt hopeless against my habits.  But one day, the Lord showed me something different, and everything changed.  Oh Lord Jesus, thank You for Your work in my life!  I praise You for the blessing of eternal life with You, and the knowledge that in You, my true life lies.  I pray today that everyone who reads this will know or come to know this truth.  In Your name, amen.

May the Lord bless you as He has blessed me,

adguglielmo 

Screwtape and I, Chapter Five

I don’t know much about war, but that it results from sin, and therefore seems a playing field for Satan. However, in this chapter, Screwtape urges Wormwood not to become too excited over the approaching World War II. He tells his nephew that war draws people to think of death, taking away from “contented worldliness,” which the devil works to cultivate in people in order to gain followers. If we’re content here, what vision of the future could we possibly wish for? Will our eyes be set on the things above if we’re living for the perpetuation of the earth?

 Again with that distraction! I’m coming to see what a powerful tool it is. Back in chapter four, Screwtape writes, “It’s funny how mortals always picture us as putting things into their minds; in reality our best work is done by keeping things out.” If we don’t know the truth of eternity, what else could we live for but each day? War brings to mind the possibility of the end of a life. Whether you’re thinking about yourself or your spouse or your brother, you’re enabled to see life’s frailty (this life’s frailty). But the devil doesn’t want us to think about that! He wants us to seek every pleasure to our fulfillment, having no vision of consequence. But when we seek those pleasures, we are never fulfilled. We will not be satisfied until we reach eternity with the Triune God (Ecclesiastes 3:11).

While it seems that war would be the devil’s ultimate tool to drag people to hell, God works even in the utmost evil. Because war opens eyes to the potential of death, we have to address the inevitable question of the afterlife. Where are you going to go? Let’s think like those in combat, and ask the biggest question of life: Where will you be once this short life is over and we begin in eternity? Where will our friends and our families be? While it is truly up to God who is written in the Book of Life (Revelation 3:5), it is our responsibility to ask the question. It’s not something worth waiting for. As those who face the very real potential of death in war, we need to ask, Where am I going? and Where are you going? Let’s not allow Satan to withhold things from our minds. Yes, it seems as though there’s always tomorrow to ask your friend where she’ll be in eternity, but that may not be true. Give her a chance while she still has one. Pray with me today that we will have the courage to ask others the most important question they will every answer. Do not fear the reaction of man more than the fate of their eternal lives. Let’s stand together in our evangelization!
God bless,
adguglielmo

Screwtape and I, Chapter Four

In Screwtape’s next letter, he encourages Wormwood to drive praying for a feeling into his patient.  Screwtape writes, “When they meant to pray for courage, let them really be trying to feel brave.  When they say they are praying for forgiveness, let them be trying to feel forgiven.  Teach them to estimate the value of each prayer by their success in producing the desired feeling.”  Have you ever done this?  Have you ever felt heavy laden with sin, turned to God in repentance, and still felt guilty?  Did that continued guilt seemingly indicate a failed prayer and unforgiveness from the Father?

We well know that Satan is the father of lies (John 8:44).  Have we thought about how he tries to enter our prayer life with these lies?  If he can’t prevent us from praying, he will try to push his way into our conversations with God by encouraging us to pray the wrong way.  When we pray for forgiveness, we want our sin to be wiped clean, but our human nature calls for that pacifying feeling in order to know that we’ve been forgiven.  The truth is, though, whether we continue in guilt or we feel that our sin has been washed, if our hearts truly repent, we have been forgiven.  Sometimes I am glad to quickly move away from my sin, and other times, the guilt lingers.  But that lasting feeling that I’ve done wrong serves the purpose of reminding me not to do it again.  

Speaking from my own walk, I think sometimes Satan has an easy time of focusing our attention inward on our emotions.  He teaches us to think of our present state of mind as “reality,” calling us to focus in on whatever we feel at present, tricking us into seeing only a brief moment in time rather than the whole picture.  When we think thusly, we don’t always see impending consequences for what we say and do in these moments.  Do you find yourself reflecting on the devil’s strategy, only to fall into the easy snare the next time you’re upset?  I do.  After an argument or a short temper, once some resolution is made, I feel so silly!  Tricked into believing in feelings again.  That’s not to say I don’t believe in the value of emotion.  The Lord created us to emote and connect with others because of feelings in common.  However, feelings leave us, and the Truth doesn’t.  Remember this.

Keeping the perspective of what feelings are in relation to everything else will help us stand against the devil when he tells us our prayer is ineffective because we don’t feel better.  Remember, he doesn’t want you to pray.  He wants you to think that your prayers mean nothing so that you will stop praying.  But don’t stop!  Don’t stop, even when you think God can’t hear a thing.  He hears everything, and He wants to hear more.  Please don’t be deceived.  Pray with me today that we will keep praying in spite of how we feel when we pray.  Pray that we will be able to keep our emotions in perspective, and always see beyond to God’s true Word.  

God bless you today and every day, 

adguglielmo

Screwtape and I, Chapter Three

The third chapter addresses “domestic hatred.”  A common phrase denotes this equal-opportunity attack: “Familiarity breeds contempt.”  In households lacking Christ, this often leads to a ripping apart of husband and wife, toppling what was not built on a firm foundation.  Or we end up living at odds with our natural family, picking apart tiny offenses.  Screwtape encourages Wormwood to focus his “patient’s” attention on those annoying habits his mother has, teaching him to believe that she does them to spite him.  

I can say I’ve easily fallen into this trap.  My sister keeps singing that song she knows I hate!  My mom knows it bugs me when she doesn’t answer her phone, but she never seems to pick up when I call!  These seemingly harmless actions can turn a family upside down for a time.  How silly it is to think so highly of ourselves that everything everyone does has anything to do with us.

The enemy can wreak havoc on a family, if we let him.  The difference between a marriage of believers and a marriage of non-believers is the foundation (whether one exists or not).  Those who marry under God have the foundation beginning with the chief cornerstone (Psalm 118:22).  At times, it may seem like there’s nothing they can agree on.  But then they’ll agree on Christ!  And if Christ is the agreement, everything is settled.  Unfortunately for a couple who doesn’t believe, there may be a time when there’s nothing they can agree on, and that’s where it ends.  There’s no Mediator or commonality between them.  

“Familiarity breeds contempt,” but the Lord Jesus Christ triumphs beyond selfishness and human nature.  Scripture commands us to “be angry, and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on [our] wrath” (Ephesians 4:26).  While sinful people grate on sinful people (therefore binding us to some annoyance resulting from our sinners surrounding), we are told to resolve our conflicts before the day passes.  When we take our time to forgive or ask for forgiveness, we give the devil a longer deception period.  He wants us to have time to think so that he can inject his own thoughts, sometimes slyly enough for us to believe they belong to our minds.  When my husband sees a conflict forming, he immediately wants to resolve it.  It takes me a little bit longer.  My natural family was never quick to address issues, so I carried that with me.  But I so appreciate my husband’s diligence in not allowing the enemy any time to warp our thoughts.  When I look back on family arguments lasting any time span, I can see where the enemy took the liberty of including his paragraphs in our speech.  Often, the original conflict got lost in Satan’s injections. 

As believers, we don’t want to give place to the enemy in our lives, but he’s very good at creeping in, especially into a family.  He wants to tear us apart.  He wants to deceive us into thinking that we are, in fact, fighting flesh and blood (contrary to Ephesians 6:12).  But we must realize that, yes, our family of sinners will do something to make us angry.  It’s best to catch this at the beginning of an annoyance, realizing that Christ’s followers are too distracted by Him to be doing anything to intentionally bother us.  If the annoyance gives way to open conflict, be aware of the devil’s purpose (go back to 1 Peter 5:8).  Don’t let too much time pass before you remember.

Pray today that we may remember our family is made up of sinners, including you and me.  Pray that we may get to a place of repentance quickly if we offend our sister; pray that our heart easily forgives our brother for his offence.  Let’s walk humbly before the One who humbled Himself on the cross.

In His name,

adguglielmo     

Screwtape and I, Chapter Two

The second chapter of The Screwtape Letters brings to light our need for humility in regard to the church.  Mr. Lewis uses Screwtape’s guidance of Wormwood to call into question our thoughts about fellow Christians.  I know that my thoughts have been turned away from the Word being preached in the pulpit by each of these: What I think is inappropriate clothing to wear to church; voices singing out of tune; the breath of the person sitting next to me; that weak handshake; that lack of note-taking; the Starbucks cup of the attendee who walked in late…the list continues.  Oh, how easy it is to be of a raised mind!

But we’re called to “esteem others better” than ourselves (Philippians 2:3).  However, we know very well, because of our fallen thoughts toward our brothers and sisters, that Satan does not want us to consider others better.  Satan’s division starts in the minds of men.  Once he gains a foothold and is able to control our thoughts toward the people of the congregation, he can dictate our thoughts about the Church, which would, at its worst, determine our thoughts about the Lord (if we despise the Bride, how highly do we think of the Groom?).

As in “Letters,” a romantic notion of what the church body ought to look like can distract and discourage us.  The unnamed temptee finds himself subconsciously disappointed by the common garb of believers when he first goes to church.  I have found myself not only distracted by clothing I deem inappropriate to wear to church, but also by clothing I find exactly appropriate.  I have looked at an unknown member of the Body in admiration because of her pristine dress, and formed an ideal of a Christian woman based on that appearance.  How fleeting these wicked thoughts are, but they are present.

Reading this novel brought to my attention the countless lies that stream through my subconscious every day.  Because hatred and sin begin in the mind, we must bring all of our thoughts captive in the obedience of Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5).  Humility is defined as humbleness of mind (Greek: tapeinophrosune), a mind in which we cannot exalt ourselves above the Saints.  I pray that today we are able to see not the faults of the sinners whom we abide with, but that we see the sins of our flesh, praising God for His grace.  I pray that we ask God for humility of mind, taking each thought captive, growing in the ability to visualize the beauty of the Bride.  We are the Bride!  Praise the Lord for our journey toward glory and perfection. 

In His name,
adguglielmo

Screwtape and I, Chapter One

In the first chapter of the C.S. Lewis novel The Screwtape Letters, Uncle Screwtape, a seasoned tempter, begins his guidance of his novice demon nephew, Wormwood.  Wormwood’s mission is to keep his “patient” out of the Kingdom of Heaven by way of seducing him toward the destructive and away from the spiritually beneficial.  The first mention of this man being led astray amounts to Wormwood’s guidance of his reading.  

What can we say about our reading?  What about our TV consumption?  Are we under the influence of a Wormwood when we seek entertainment?  Before I dedicated my life to Christ, I had a great taste for teen and gossip magazines.  In fact, I had fantasies about moving to New York City and writing for one of them.  It all seemed so glamorous.  But now I think about how the material influenced me, and I look regretfully at the past before I knew Jesus.  Satan wants our minds to be full of the words of men and not the Word of God.  The enemy knows the truth of his inevitable defeat, but he doesn’t want us to know that we’re coming with him if we don’t accept the Truth.  So he distracts us with the shiny objects of entertainment.  

After I became a Christian, my grandma asked me how I could still watch horror movies.  I had always been a fan, and that didn’t change with my dedication to Christ.  Nearly five years later, I don’t even want to think about them.  If a commercial comes on advertising the latest thrasher, I have to turn it off.  I’ve even had to turn off my radio because of an ad.  While there were some things I was glad to throw off my old self, most of it was-is-a process.  And of course it is when Screwtape stands at the ready for an opportunity to consume us!  Very occasionally, I’ll suggest to my husband that we watch a scary movie.  That scares me most because I know that urge didn’t come from me.

The Word tells us to set our minds on the things above, not on the things on the earth (Colossians 3:1).  This is in order to avoid temptation (if we see the treasures of heaven, what heart remains on this earth?).  The Scripture continues to say “you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God” (3:3).  If our life is in Christ and not here, what value are the things of this world?  

The enemy tempts us with wicked forms of entertainment because it’s so available.  It’s common to want to see that box office hit rated R for strong sexuality and crude language because, well, everyone else saw it.  But be aware of Screwtape and his nephew behind that desire.  Remember that Jesus did instruct us to “pray, lest [we] enter into temptation” (Matthew 26:41).  He knows that Satan prowls “like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour” (1 Peter 5:8).  So today, pray with me to avoid temptation.  Let’s acknowledge that we are not left alone with our thoughts, but that Satan’s minions await an opportunity to take our human desires and put them to work for his kingdom.  But be of good cheer!  Jesus has overcome the world.

In His name,

adguglielmo