"Do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore, glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God's"-1 Corinthians 6:19, 20.
Dear Reader,
My husband and I are competing to see who can lose eight pounds first. So far, we've trudged through a level one "8 Minute Abs" video, and we haven't had dessert all week.
The dedicated road to weight loss seems much easier together. All my life, I've struggled with poor body image. For years and years, I made my major goal losing weight. I had academic, life and spiritual goals, too, but they never took first place. Instead, I focused on my body. With all of the effort and energy I expended, I should have gotten in shape and been satisfied. However, I gained ten pounds one year, five pounds the next, and ten pounds more. I was crushed.
I can't trace my battle with food back to a specific date, but I know some of my greatest struggles began at age 15. First, I tried convincing myself that I didn't have to eat (what a glamorous life I could live at 80 pounds!). I listed every crumb that I consumed, calculating fat grams and carbs. At night, I would lie awake, budgeting calories for the next day. Quartering portions made my head ache, from both over thinking and hunger. By the end of the week, I would take my measurements and discover I had lost a couple of inches. And then I would overeat. I would try so hard not to eat and then make up for all that I had deprived myself of during the week. I would remeasure on Sunday and discover my bloated belly added a few inches to what I had to lose. So on Monday, I would resume my "orderly" plan.
This sort of eating phased in and out throughout the years. At times, it was replaced by fasting completely. Other times, I ate more than several grown men could in a day. Purging cycled through from the time I was 16. Needless to say, I was out of control.
Until fairly recently, this struggle with food overshadowed everything else in life. It consumed my mind, as drugs consume the mind of a user. I wondered how much I could accomplish if I weren't always thinking about food and my figure. I desperately wanted to stop abusing my body. I reached out to the church for help. I reached out to fellow believers online in chat rooms dedicated to encouraging healthy, godly lifestyles. I attended a church recovery group for people once addicted to drugs and alcohol. I started seeing a Christian counselor. I prayed constantly. I meditated on verses like 1 Corinthians 10:31: "Whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all for the glory of God" (I thought that one was written just for me!). But no matter what I did, I just couldn't stop.
Here's the key: I wouldn't stop. I had it wrong all those years. Had I really believed 1 Corinthians 10:13 ("God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it"), I would have known that my actions could not be attributed to anyone but me. Yes, the tempter tempted me very effectively. Even when God's "way of escape" arrived crystal clear, I took things into my own hands and rejected His provision. I repeatedly made the mistake of thinking that eating would make me feel better, even though I always felt worse afterward. And the whole time, I kept wondering, Lord! I'm praying for Your help! Why aren't You helping me?
I made two major discoveries. The first, before I stopped abusing God's temple, was Colossians 3:1-3: "If then you were raised with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ is, sitting at the right hand of God. Set your mind on the things above, not on things on the earth. For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God." Where had I set my mind? Certainly not on my life with Christ in God! In spite of all of my pleading prayers, my mind remained on the things on the earth (my body). Though my heart greatly desired the ability to just eat like a normal person, without having to miss meals with family and friends because of a diet, and without blowing off events with those same people to sit at home overeating, I thought if I trusted the Lord to guide me to eat properly, I would never lose weight. I couldn't get past my earthly body.
The period between abusing food and enjoying God's provision perplexes me. Again, I can't point to a specific date and say, "I was healed this day!" But I know the Lord used the building up of my relationship with my husband and his family to produce my new, healthy approach to eating.
An Old Testament verse explained away my confusion about why the Lord "wasn't helping me." Isaiah 59:1,2 says: "Behold, the Lord's hand is not shortened, that it cannot save; nor His ear heavy, that it cannot hear. But your iniquities have separated you from your God; and your sins have hidden His face from you, so that He will not hear." Why didn't God remove my burden as soon as I prayed for help? It's because my willful sin caused a separation between us that prevented Him from hearing my prayers. I was disobedient and thought I knew what was best for me. I continued to disregard the command to glorify God in my body. How could He hear me when I continuously profaned what belonged to Him?
I praise the Lord for softening my heart and enabling me to seek the things above. I am far more concerned with exercising myself toward godliness (1 Timothy 4:8) now that Satan's lies about food and my body have been dusted out of my head. I mentioned the competition between my husband and I because I'm thankful to finally put weight loss in perspective. Thinking about my physical flaws no longer fills up the day. Instead of thinking about how to look more like Twiggy, I think about how to become more like Christ. My husband will probably win the competition, and he will receive due reward. But I'm just so thankful to be able to eat with a grateful heart!
Because this temptation and sin took up much of my life, I pray that God will use me to comfort those who are struggling, just as He has comforted me (2 Corinthians 1:4). Let me know how I may be of service to you today.
God bless His children,
adguglielmo
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